Page 68 of Mister Stark

I still held onto hope the pregnancy test was a mistake. An unthinkable and terrible mistake. I found out it was possible because I had read about it online. False positive home pregnancy tests were a thing, and I crossed my fingers that it could be the case for me. I didn’t need a baby right now, and none of us did. No one needed this mess. I had a wedding to plan and secrets to uphold. I didn’t have time for another one.

Suddenly, there was a soft tap at the door, and it opened. I looked over to see a short, plump woman with round black frames and curly black hair. Her fancy name tag had the name Erin on it.

She glanced at me briefly and took a seat in front of me. “I’m Erin, and I’ll be reading your results today. Can you tell me what brings you in?”

She cut straight to the point, and I admired that. I didn’t want to be here, and I had never been here before. I was always very healthy and never had health problems. No reason to visit the doctors here in the city until now.

“Well, I have been feeling unwell for a few days and getting sick.” I breathed as my anxiety took over and I fidgeted with my hands in my seat. “I’m normally healthy and it was odd.”

The doctor looked at her chart. “Can you describe the symptoms you have been experiencing?”

I answered her question in a soft tone. “Tender breasts, hungry all the time, vomiting, dizziness, bloated stomach and exhausted.”

She jotted it down on the chart and I heard the pen scribble. The room was silent and if a pin were to drop, anyone would hear it. It made my nerves even worse, and I realized this was hard to do alone. But I had no other choice.

She stopped the pen and asked. “Did you notice a late period, by chance?”

I replied. “Yes, I figured I’m at least a week late and I took a pregnancy test. It was positive, but there must be a mistake.”

She took off her glasses, laid them on the table and her eyes looked into mine. “I’m afraid there’s no mistake.”

I blinked repeatedly and asked. “What do you mean?”

“The urine culture we used to detect pregnancy came back positive. You are expecting a baby.” She explained as the chair swiveled closer towards me and she clasped her hands together. “But the questions now are how far along are you and is your body healthy enough to carry this baby to full-term?”

I sat there and took in the news. I knew, and the odds were against me. Those two pink lines were right, and I was pregnant. But I had no clue who the father was.

Erin put her glasses back on and wrote on the paper in front of her. She tore it off and looked at me with the note in her hand. Loneliness set in, and I had no idea what came next. I felt like the world had slipped out from underneath me and left me behind.

She passed the note to me. “I want you to take this out to my secretary. She will order blood work and I will get you scheduled for your first ultrasound.”

I took the instructions and peered down at the paper. This was the next step, and it gave me slight relief. But I still had a long journey ahead of me.

I laid my hand on my belly with the baby that grew inside and I couldn’t believe this had happened. A tiny human being grew inside me. It ate everything I did and breathed the same air as me. We shared so much and yet I felt unattached to it. But my body connected us as one.

“Do you think I can do this?” I asked with uncertainty.

She smiled and laid her hand on top of mine. “I know you can, Celeste. A woman’s body holds so much power and this baby is a gift. Congratulations on your pregnancy.”

She let go of me, tucked her chart under her arm, and left the room. I sat there stunned and let the reality of my situation sink in. I had to change my life and bring a child into this world. A tiny little baby that would depend on me for everything. I was going to be a mother. Whether or not I wanted to be.

***

IARRIVED HOME AT THEpenthouse and dropped my keys onto the side table. They made a loud clunk. The pregnancy exhausted me from the afternoon and took off my heels as I fell back onto the couch. I needed to rest my aching feet and my hand fell onto my stomach. But my mind wandered to my stroll I had through the park on this glorious afternoon.

I needed to clear my head, and the day was beautiful for a walk through the park. I realized I had to think like a parent and what better place to go than the park? This baby was coming, and it was now a fact.

This tiny being grew arms, legs and organs. It had a cute little button nose, gorgeous eyes, a sophisticated mouth and silky hair. It would have its own personality and genetics, just like mine. This baby was mine, and I had helped create it. But so had its father.

The one that remained unknown. Two possible options with an impossible outcome. I had to keep it a secret for as long as I could. Too much harm came from this pregnancy and the damage was irreversible. I didn’t need it and this baby that grew inside of me didn’t deserve it. I had to protect my child from the truth and I was keeping it from its father because the risk was too high.

I watched children play in the park with their parents. A family swung their young daughter on the swing and her blonde hair blew in the breeze. The mother was at the front and snapped pictures of the precious memory. The father pushed his little girl, and she giggled with glee.

I wished I could give my baby that. I wanted so much to give it the love it deserved, but it seemed impossible. There were too many lies, my secret affair with my fiancé’s dad and a soon to be loveless marriage. All in front of the public eye and they could rip us to shreds in a heartbeat.

I barely held on as it was and with a healthy pregnancy, it would be too much to take. The stress was a risk I couldn’t afford and my baby needed more from me. I had to live with the life I had created for myself, but I would not let my baby suffer because of my actions.

Suddenly, I heard movement from down the hallway and I snapped back to reality. Dylan came around the corner and it surprised me because he was home early. I didn’t even realize he was here. He usually worked late, and I knew what that meant. His lover had other plans.

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