Page 73 of The Glass Girl

“I do,” I say to the empty room. “I hide behind my makeup.”

“Good for you!” Brandy yells from behind the bathroom door. “Good for effin’ you.”

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Billy is already at the table, surrounded by bowls of scrambled eggs, plates of sausage, plates of toast and butter, boxes of cereal and cartons of milk. Brandy wrinkles her nose at one of the bowls. It’s filled with scrambled tofu. Tracy points to another table with urns of coffee and juice.

“Not you,” she says as I start to head over. “Pedialyte for you. No coffee just yet.”

“That’s not fair,” I say.

“You wrecked your body,” she says simply. “We’re still rehydrating you. You can have that or water.”

“One cup of coffee isn’t going to kill me,” I argue. This isridiculous. It’s coffee, and I’m not dead. I didn’t die. I’m very much still alive, apparently, and in this awful place.

“Rules are rules,” she says. “And speaking of…”

She places booklets in front of each of us.

Desert vista, a shining sky,Sonoran Sunrisein beautiful lettering on the cover, withWelcome to your futureacross the bottom.

“The handbook,” Tracy tells us. “Read it, initial each page, give it back when you’re done.”

She sits down and starts making a plate of fruit and scrambled tofu.

“I’m not much of a reader,” Billy says, flipping through the booklet. “Somebody just tell me the good parts.” He shoves a sausage into his mouth with his fingers.

I use a fork to break the seal on my bottle of Pedialyte and dump some eggs onto my plate. The bad side of my face throbs. I take a small bite of egg and chew very, very slowly as I flip through the booklet.

Welcome to Sonoran Sunrise, a behavioral and rehabilitation program for adolescents in crisis.

We are a healing, empathy-based recovery program that emphasizes personal responsibility and growth. Addiction recovery treatment is not one-size-fits-all because adolescents are not one size. We tailor our program to each individual in need, utilizing a variety of methods: self-awareness training, self-reliance, physical and adventure activity, emotional therapy.

Images of kids hiking, with backpacks and trekking poles. Campfires. Swimming in the sparkling blue pool. Gathered in circles listening to some extremely healthy- andpositive-looking person talk. It looks like a summer camp, for god’s sake. It looks like all cheeriness and good health and good living and I am none of those things.

There’s a list of rules.

At Sonoran Sunrise, I agree to:

Participate fully and openly in my recovery program.

Respect myself and the other residents.

Respect the counselors and other health staff.

Refrain from ingesting drugs and alcohol at any time, with the exception of medication approved by staff.

Refrain from violent or disruptive behavior toward myself, fellow residents, or staff.

Not abuse, harm, or put at risk any of the camp animals.

Respect the confidentiality of my fellow residents.

Refrain from sexual activity with my fellow residents or with staff.

Report any and all instances of inappropriate or violent behavior, sexual activity, drug use, or bullying to staff.

Follow all rules pertaining to mealtime, therapy, assigned physical activity, and any other activities.

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