Page 40 of Way Down Deep

Also, you’d totally make it. You’re so genuine and sweet. If secretly filthy.

If I would, you would. You might think you aren’t those things but that’s bollocks.

Don’t—I’ve had just enough to drink now to get all feely. How dare you take advantage?

I’m shamelesslyopportunistic when it comes to convincing you that you’re a good man, the best of men, my lovely one.

Imust beallergic to something. My eyes are all weird and watery.

It’s probably just rainingon your face.

I’ve just been cuttingonions. I’m making a lasagna for one.

That sounds right. We will go with that.

But it’s for you, the lasagna. Because I know you probably had something terrible for dinner.

Iwas just goingto say: plus now I get to eat it instead of the super noodles that are congealing on a plate by the couch.

Oh shit, more boobs.

Sometimes the child actor sounds vaguely English.

Ithinkhe might have been. But I have no idea how I know this.

Maybe. American actors always tend to go a little English in fantasy movies. You guys are just more magical-sounding.

Well, the posh Brits are. I sound like I’m about to have sex behind some bins.

Okay, that time I DID spit out some of my drink.

I want to ask where you live as badly as I don’t want to. I feel like I’m just not supposed to know. Or like you live in some strange vortex with no postal code.

Ilivein the North East.

Of Fantasia.

Sassy minx.

I always want to know how you pay for all the stuff you must have shipped to your door. And when you last went to a doctor. And a million other questions that seem somehow better unanswered.

Iselledible rocks to fantasy creatures.

>:-(

I don’t remember so much of this part… I wonder how many times I stopped watching after the boobs were over.

You don’t remember “Comefor me, Gamork”??

No!

God, I must have acted out that moment a million times in my head, only with me in Atreyu’s place.

My goodness, the stuff he’s saying. This is pretty disturbing for a kids’ movie. Those who have no hope are more easily controlled… That hit me right in the guts.

Oh, honey.

All the best kids’ movies are scary. Or have scary bits.

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