Page 38 of Way Down Deep

It’slike he’s luring him into his gingerbread house, only the house is made of books. Which actually sounds pretty cool, to be fair.

Fewer ants.

Plus, being cooked in an oven would probably be a reasonable price for getting to read something that gives you a dragon that grants wishes. I mean, I would take that if I got the dragon first.

Ifeellike I know everything I need to know about you from that one text. Also, this room is amazing. Kids’ movies always have amazing old dusty secret rooms.

Oh my god, I know. Do you have any idea how jealous I was of these American kids with all their enormous houses and awesome attics that probably had Beetlejuice in them or summat?

This giant… That’s how I feel right now, after crippling myself, running all that way. Except I want bourbon instead of rocks.

Idunno—I distinctly remember feeling those rocks looked delicious. Easily better than bourbon. This monster really sold me on them.

Oh god, here he comes. Or wait, never mind. I thought the creepy dragon was coming.

Ithinkwe have to get to Atreyu first. Maybe?

BTW I only said maybe there because I completely remember everything now, and I’m trying not to seem like a nerd who watched this film way too much.

You totally have me fooled. I didn’t suspect a thing when you (a) remembered his name and (b) knew how to spell it.

*shamefaced*

Also, the effects are frigging amazing. I know people moan about CGI, but seriously we should moan more. I love the way all of this looks.

Ilove painted backdrops. Even if you can see the seams.

Oh, and Muppet strings. I love those clear Muppet strings and sticks, like when Kermit is waving his arms around.

The stringsand seams only make it sweeter.

So wasAtreyu a babe when you were, like, eight?

IthinkI had a lot of confused feelings about him. At one point, I’m sure I was convinced he was a girl.

That would’ve beenan awesome twist. Like at the end of Metroid.

IthinkI thought Sebastian was lying or fooled when he said a little boy. Or maybe I just identified a lot with Atreyu. I had Sebastian’s hair but looked like Atreyu.

Isit totally cheesy that the horse riding and music gave me chills for a second? I blame nostalgia.

Don’t. It’s good and right to have all the chills. Look how beautiful and cool all of this is.

Ihopethe boy turns out as earnest and bookish as the narrator kid… And all I can think now is that Atreyu is secretly a girl.

Head canon.

Oh no, that bit is coming. The terrible bit.

I always used to wonder: why did the horse let sadness overtake him? What was he sad about?

Oh shit, I forgot about this. Add this to the list of movies the boy can’t watch until he’s, like, twenty. Dead pets are just the worrrrssssttt.

Iusedto fast forward past it. I couldn’t stand it. I still can’t stand it.

Go get a snack. I’ll watch it for the both of us.

Thank you. Thank you. I realise now why I didn’t like it.

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