Page 46 of Promise Me Not

“That’s why Mason was here.” It’s not a question. Neither is what he says next. “And you didn’t call him tonight.”

My eyes sting, but I swallow the self-pity, undeserving of such a thing, and shake my head.

Another curse leaves him, and this time when he looks at me, there’s something deeper in his gaze. “I have to go.” He swallows, looking off. “I don’t want to, but I have to.”

Something tells me his decision to leave isn’t just about the time, but I don’t mention that.

“I know. Thank you for coming. Sorry for turning back into the girl I was that night. I thought I had a handle on her, but…well.” I shrug.

Chase nods but sits there for several long moments in silence before rising to his feet. He opens his mouth to say or ask something but seems to change his mind. “We’ll talk soon?”

My eyes grow cloudy, but I agree. “Yeah. Talk soon.”

With that, he walks out the front door, and I lie back where I sit, my eyes closing.

That night at the hospital flashes through my mind, the days, weeks, and months that followed rolling right behind it, and a heaviness settles over me, but somewhere in that stormy cloud of pain and confusion is a tender touch of something else, like silk sewn beneath a weighted blanket.

I thought no one knew what today was, and I didn’t want the worry—or pity—of mentioning it.

But someone did know.

Heknew. He knew and he came.

“Just in case you needed me.”His raspy, raw voice flows through me, bringing the warmth I’ve missed back to my shredded soul. Of course the moment it does, guilt rides right in like liquid nitrogen and turns it to ice.

Fighting a scream, I punch at the carpet beneath me, my teeth clenching as I throw my hands through my hair.

Chase was freshly showered in sweats and a hoodie.

Mason still had his cleats on his feet.

He came straight here. He came for me because he knew how hard today would be.

The look on his face when he saw Chase will haunt me endlessly.

Mason camejust in caseI needed him.

Chase came because I asked him to.

My bottom lip trembles, and I wish desperately that things were different.

I have to remind myself this is for the best. Self-preservation at its finest.

Or worst, depending on how you look at it.

Maybe now he’ll realize I’m not worth the wait or the trouble. He has his whole life ahead of him. I’m on the cusp of eighteen with a baby and a questionable future. He’s the starting quarterback for Avix University and an NFL hopeful.

A smile graces my lips, a tear slipping down my cheek. God, I’m so proud of him.

He’s living the dream he shared with me, and I couldn’t be happier for the man who brought me back to life without my realizing it.

You don’t deserve happiness. Not when you stole that chance from Deaton.

Brick after brick falls on my chest, crushing my lungs until I’m gasping and falling onto my hands and knees.

I pant and cry, and eventually…I pass out.

Mason

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