Page 149 of Promise Me Not

I owe him more than I’ll ever be able to repay for what his presence in my life has done for me.

I don’t know what I would do without him.

Maybe you’ll never have to find out?

Smiling, I push from the bed, quickly changing and rushing into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It’s not until I grab a comb, looking up at my smiling face in the mirror, that my mother’s words come crashing down and bursting the little bubble I allowed myself.

She said I ruined her life.

I literally destroyed Deaton’s.

What if the poison I seem to carry infects Mason, too?

What if, instead of being the positive in his life the way he is in mine, I became the negative?

What if I’m not strong enough to let him go regardless?

No.

No!

I glare at the girl in the mirror. “Don’t do this. Don’t let her ruin you any more than she already has.”

Lifting my chin, I run the gold glittery comb through my long hair, splitting it down the center. I smirk as I make quick work of putting it into two Dutch braids, the one hairstyle my mother hated on me more than anything.

It’s petty and ultimately irrelevant, but I don’t care.

It feels good to be me, to do what I want, and right now, what I want is to go eat waffles with friends, my son, and the man who makes me feel like I matter.

But there’s something else I want, too. Desperately.

I just have to find the courage to ask for it.

I think I might.

It’s with that final thought that I slip into my shoes and head out into the hall.

The café is attached to the hotel Noah booked for us, the free nights at this place one of the many gifts he’s been given since signing his NFL contract. It’s one of those frilly places with teapots and three-tier fancy scones and treat things. I have no idea what it’s called, but everything I’ve tried—and I tried nearly all of it—is delicious. Not to mention the mile-high cinnamon toast waffles Mason ordered. A scoop of fried ice cream on top of three giant waffles? Whoever thought of that needs a raise, seriously.

We finished our plates a little over a half hour ago, but the food coma put us on lockdown, unable to stand from our tables.

The morning sun doesn’t help either, but it does feel good beaming down from above.

The café is at the farthest corner of the hotel, surrounded by a massive koi pond with rock waterfalls and a tiny bridge in the middle. There are ducks sitting in the moss, little ducklings learning how to cross from one side to the other.

Deaton is sitting in Noah’s lap, Ari right beside them, the three of them taking up the entire bridge. They’ve been sitting there for twenty minutes now, laughing and talking to Deaton, pointing out the fish below. Deaton’s eyes are glued to the water, and when I look to the side, I find Mason’s are glued on him.

A small smile curves his lips, and he just…stares.

“Hey,” I whisper, and slowly, his head turns my way. “Penny for your thoughts?”

The sharp angles of his face are soft in this moment, and he adjusts his chair so it’s facing mine, then bends forward, yanking mine closer.

He reaches out, tugging on one of my braids, and takes my hand. “You can have them for free.” He holds my gaze, promising, “You can have anything you want from me.”

Can I have your future?

The thought is so sudden I jolt, and Mason catches it, his eyes piercing mine as he searches for the source.