Page 13 of Promise Me Not

I thought one day, I’d have mine.

Maybe I won’t.

Maybe that’s a pipe dream never to see the light of day.

Maybe I need to work a little harder.

“I’m gonna go see what Nate’s up to.”

“Uh-huh,” Ari teases, like she knows what’s up.

She couldn’t possibly. No one does.

No one but me…and the girl I want to be mine.

“You do know she’s at the zoo with Mom and Aunt Sarah today, right?”

Ari not only proves she’s more in tune than I thought but shocks the shit out of me with her question. Or admission, because no, I did not know that. It should settle me knowing Payton’s spending time with my family, the people who love me most, but it doesn’t.

I want to be the person she spends her time with. I want to be the one to show Little D the monkeys and the bears. Maybe this is good, though, a twisted sort of sign she’s still in reach, if only through those closest to me.

She will be. Shehasto be.

What the fuck will I do if she won’t be?

CHAPTER FOUR

Payton

Now,July 4

I never understoodwhy people enjoyed trips to the beach. Who wouldwantto swim in freezing cold water? Anyone who has so much as put their feet in the ocean off the coast of California knows the one thing this sunny state does not have…is warm ocean water. Sure, sometimes it’s less than freezing, but it’s never warm, and don’t even get me started on the sand.

Dare to swim and you’re gifted with a suit full of it, but not only that, you get ratted hair as a bonus, even if the tips never so much as graze the water’s surface. Oh, and good luck vacuuming the bits that make it back to your car with you. No matter how many times you beat your sandals against the curb or shake your towel out, it’s never enough. The sand demons win every time.

So yeah, who the hell would want to spend a single minute at the beach, right?

God, what a prissy brat my mother raised me to be.

Thankfully, my brother is the furthest thing from his mother’s son and showed me what I wasn’t seeing, encouraged me to open not only my eyes but my mind.

Now?

I don’t understand how anyone could ever hate the beach.

To be honest, I have no idea where I would be right now without it.

The waves, while unforgiving, don’t judge.

The sun doesn’t sear you with worried eyes and taut expressions.

The wind doesn’t push for words when you don’t feel like talking.

The sand doesn’t crunch beneath your feet like the eggshells everyone seems to walk on around me. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Here, there’s no pity for thepoor little thing, and that’s exactly what I have become. To everyone.

Poor Payton lost the boy she loved.

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