Page 101 of Promise Me Not

Slowly and with a bit of fear I didn’t expect, I face the doctor, vaguely aware of Parker and Kenra telling Payton how proud they are and how good she did.

My eyes lift, locking onto a little head, full of thick dark hair. Even covered in…whatever that is, it looks curly and perfect, and I swear to god, my heart, it jumps in my chest. Jumps, skips, and then shifts.

A hole opens up inside me, the teeny tiny little thing the doctor holds up slipping inside and filling it right back up.

My vision blurs, my body frozen in place.

Parker says something, walks by, and the nurse steps up, but I can’t hear her.

All I hear ishim.

It is a boy. A little baby boy.

It’s like time doesn’t exist and the world stopped spinning, and all that’s left is him…and her.

Slowly, I turn, and as if sensing I was coming, her eyes move to meet mine in the same instant.

She smiles, and I hate the weight within it, but there’s so much joy there, too.

“You were right,” she whispers, blinking heavily. “It’s a boy.”

I’m not aware I’ve moved until her face is in my hands, my lips coming down on hers with such intensity my entire body vibrates. “Congratulations, Pretty Little,” I whisper against her. “You’re a mama now.”

“I’m a mom now,” she breathes, a slight tremble in her smile.

I push the hair from her face, and her eyes close, exhaustion setting in. Not a moment later, the nurse nudges my arms with her own.

“Come.” She dips her chin, so I spin, stepping beside the tiny little table they’ve laid the little guy out on. The doctor is talking to Payton, and I try to focus on what the nurse is saying, but I can’t.

“Why is he crying?” I ask, my hands lifting to touch him, but fear tethers around my muscles, holding me back. “Don’t cry, little man.” I swallow beyond the knot forming in my throat. “Your mama’s waiting to meet you, and you’re gonna scare her,” I whisper.

Suddenly, his wails soften, and my pulse hammers in my chest when he starts to blink. Just like that, his little eyes open, and all the air whooshes from my lungs.

“He’s…perfect,” I rasp, then notice the scissors held out before my hands.

My eyes snap to the nurse, and she smiles, pushing them into my palm. “Cut right here, daddy.”

My knees shake, white flashing behind my eyes. This is…

I don’t have words for what’s happening inside me right now, but it’s big, life-fucking-changing, and when I open my eyes, looking into his, everything inside me shifts. It rearranges, twisting, turning, and tightening. It clicks into place.

My lungs open up, and the air tastes different.

Daddy.

My vision blurs, and I reach up, running a shaky hand over his perfect little cheek.

Oh my god.

I…Iwantto be his daddy.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Mason

Now,September

It never gets easier.

---