Page 35 of Promise Me Not

A smirk pulls at my lips. “I’ll keep my five, thanks.”

Noah walks up, locking his arms around my twin’s middle. “You two really are best friends if food works to get both of you into b?—”

I raise a brow at him, and he pivots.

“Brunch.”

Fighting a smirk, I point to Chase as he steps up. “We’ll get the meat. You two get the veggies.”

Chase rubs the back of his head. “I need some things for my protein shakes…”

“Chase and I are on fruits and veggies, then.” Noah looks to Chase. “You ever tried adding peanut butter powder instead of peanut butter?”

Chase glances away, and I swear it’s a shame thing. He can’t quite meet Noah’s eyes without flinching, but he knows it’s his own doing and mans up every time. “Does it help thin it out more?”

“Oh, yeah, man.” The two start walking, Noah talking as they go, and Ari and I stare after them until they’re gone.

She looks to me with a half smile and leads us toward the meat counter. “Noah hates the tension in the room when Chase is around.”

“A little tension is good for Chase. He can’t be let off the hook too easy, and he doesn’t want to be.”

“And that’s exactly why Noah hates it. Chase is punishing himself,distancinghimself. It’s not right, Mase. He’s family, too.”

An uncomfortable sensation builds in my gut, just like it does every time I think about how my best friend tried to get in the middle of my sister and Noah when the couple was at their mostvulnerable. The truth is it sickened me to see him go after her when he did, especially after learning he had his chance and blew it…but at the same time, a small part of me understood.

Or maybe that’s a new revelation, considering.

All I know is if before I was against doing something a little less than honorable to get what I wanted, I’m not anymore. You’ll never change the score if you don’t dare to make the pass, right?

I want the girl, and I’m not sure there’s a move I wouldn’t make to get her.

“Are you still mad at him?” my sister asks.

Pulling a deep breath in, I slowly let it out, a small shake of my head following. “I was pissed, but I think I was more disappointed than anything, and not because of what he was doing. It’s like I’ve said before. Chase is a good man. I know that, you know that, and we’re all young. There’s a lot of shit we’re going to fuck up along the way. What I didn’t like was that he had you and only decided to do something real about itafteryour accident.”

Panic pricks at my skin at the thought of everything that went down just seven months ago. I thought I was losing my sister, my twin, and for the first time, no matter what I did, I couldn’t protect her. I failed at my position, and I damn well knew it.

And then she healed, and I realized something.

My sister had someone who meant everything to her, who wanted to give her the world, and that meant she didn’t need me anymore.

Football was over for the season, so they didn’t need me either.

I was floating away, and only when a certain strawberry blond was around did that sense of worthlessness deflate.

I don’t know why it’s there in the first fucking place. I hate it, and it makes no sense.

My parents loved the shit out of us, raised us well, and had our backs no matter what. They came to all my games, and we had more family time than not. We weren’t neglected or expected to raise ourselves once we were old enough to know how. I had friends, and I was as happy as any other kid who had a good home like mine.

Regardless of all that, though, I was still the “big brother.” The only brother.

My dad lost his sister when he was young, and after I heard the story of how she was killed by a car while riding her bike, I saw the sadness and fear in his eyes and I knew I had to be the protector. My family needed me to shield our home from that same fate, because we wouldn’t survive a loss like that.

I wouldn’t survive, so watching over her became my job. If she fell off the swings, I was there to pick her up. If she was scared, I would make her feel safe. If someone pushed her, I put them on their ass. There was no me without her, at least not until football came along.

Only when I was on the field did I discover I was capable of caring about myself, too, and it didn’t take long for us all to realize I was better than most in the sport. Suddenly, not only Ari needed me, but so did my team. It was like the other half of my brain sparked to life.

Just like that, I had two purposes in life, and I fucking thrived on that fact.

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