Page 20 of Promise Me Not

Tension tugs at my chest, anxiety building at a slow yet steady place, only this time it doesn’t break when I finally give in and tap the screen of my phone for the hundredth time. With theend of every game, the night closes in, the digital clock reading five after ten.

The day is almost over. Gone.

How are things here and then gone in the blink of an eye? In the pass of a single second? Poof. No more.

I swallow, trying not to draw attention to myself as I attempt to breath through my nose and out through my mouth, but it doesn’t help.

I’m suffocating.

Most of us stand, stretching or refilling cups, but I wait for their backs to turn, taking the opportunity to step away. Pushing onto shaky legs, I move toward my brother, take his hand, and gently set the baby monitor in his palm.

He looks at me with concern, but a quick squeeze of his fingers is all I can give.

Panicked and unable to catch a full breath, I clutch my phone in my fist, running down the deck stairs and onto the sand.

Ari and Noah are in their own little world, cuddled by the fire, but both jerk my way when I hurry past.

“Payton?” she calls, but I keep running, down the side of the house and toward the front, across the grass and onto the sidewalk.

I pause there in the shadows, gripping my head and squeezing my eyes closed as tears threaten to take me under, to drown me.

My jaw is clenched tight, and I tug on the strings of my hoodie, letting it bite into my neck as I drop my head back, welcoming the cold air against my clammy skin.

Headlights flick on, and I jolt, eyes narrowing when they flash a second time.

I sniffle, swiping my cheeks with my sleeves and run over to the old red truck sitting idling at the curb. Curling my fingersover the edge of the windowsill, eyes the color of emeralds meet mine.

“Where are you going?” I blurt out before he can ask me what’s wrong.

Chase visibly winces, looking out the windshield at the road ahead. “Is it bad if I say anywhere but here?” Slowly, he faces my way.

I know that look. It mirrors one of mine.

My shoulders fall a little, and I offer a small smile. Chase is waiting for me to question him, to ask if the reason he would rather beanywhere but herehas anything to do with a certain couple sitting by the fire that he may or may not be able to handle seeing together.

Not everyone knows how important it can be to dodge a question. Sometimes it’s the only thing keeping that final string from snapping and leaving behind a welt you can’t hide. So no, I don’t ask him any of that, saying instead, “Is it bad if I want to go with you?”

Chase stares a moment, and then he reaches across the cab, pushing open the door in invitation.

I don’t hesitate, not when I know Deaton is safe and sound, asleep in his crib with my brother watching over him. I climb in the cab, buckle my seat belt, and meet his gaze.

He tips his head. “Where do you want to go?”

A grin pulls at my lips, my limbs suddenly feeling ten pounds lighter with the promise of an escape. “Anywhere but here.”

Chase chuckles, tosses me the blanket he pulls from behind his seat, and puts the truck in drive. He doesn’t tell me where we’re headed, and honestly, I’m not sure he even knows, but I don’t care.

I’m along for the ride either way.

Just as we’re pulling away, a flash of something catches my eye. I turn, glancing toward the house as we roll past, and there he is.

Mason stands at the edge of the house, a can of cream soda hanging from his fingertips…eyes on me.

My head snaps forward so fast, I know Chase notices.

Whether he sees Mason or not, he doesn’t say.

He doesn’t stop either. Instead, his foot hits the gas a little harder, leading farther down the road.

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