Page 124 of Command

She thought she’d done a good job of protecting her NS, closing down her link before this conversation, but her distress must have seeped out anyway because she felt Threxin nudging at her walls. He was not yet good enough to break them, but he was getting there. She shuttered him out.

“You didn’t fucking tell him, did you? About this?” Kaia hissed, motioning to the cables strewn around them in the tiny space. “Or did you betray that too?”

“No, I didn’t tell him,” Alina rushed out. “But maybe he should know.”

“Fuck that! Do you have any fucking idea?—”

“Maybe this is fine.” Isabelle lifted her head, hugging the back of the chair against her chest. “She’s got access now. Maybe that was the point.”

“Was it?” Kaia looked sharply at Alina. “Were you whoring yourself out for the greater good, Alina?”

A sick knot formed in her throat.

“At first it was the point.” She ignored the whoring comment. “And it worked. I got Uploads back. I got him to do better down in the CRD. The shipment? That was for me. I kept him from killing Orion’s father.”

“What?” Kaia blurted out. “What happened with Per?”

“Threxin tried to get information out of him. He saw us together and Threxin wanted to kill him to protect our relationship, but I got him not to.”

“Relationship,” Kaia spat, and it made Alina really fucking angry that she was trivializing this. Kaia herself wasmarriedto a part-uhyre. Why was the full thing any different? “Where is he now? Orion’s father.”

“I convinced Threxin to keep him under watch instead of killing him, so it worked! Did you know Per Halen wanted Threxin to… to mate with us? Produce more heirs for the ship? He didn’t even know about the limiters then, and…”

“Of course I knew—why the fuck do you think he was locked away this whole time?” Kaia spat. “And the limiters… God, you had useful information all along. You should be tried for treason.”

Alina froze, stupefied. What if that happened? What if they were going to put her on trial? Or worse, just not bother, just get rid of her…

“Kaia, I’m so—” Alina stopped mid-sentence, looking between Isabelle and her charge. “You know what? I’m not sorry. What do you think would’ve happened if I just let him die? Do you think the others would just walk away and let us live happily ever after? They’d use the next best thing! Did youseewhat was left of theElysian’scommander? What do you think they’d do to Orion? Killing Threxin would’ve been stupid and you know it. This way, we survive. With Uploads. With a vaccine, thanks to you. With a New Earth. Can’t you see that this is a good thing?”

Maybe it was the shock of her outburst that prevented Kaia from her off, but by the end Alina felt herself withering. She had done the right thing. She’d done the best she could with what she had, and people were alive because of her.

Weren’t they?

Kaia looked at her, and she could see cold calculation in her eyes.

“W-what are you thinking?” Alina asked.

“You could do it now,” Kaia said, licking her lips. “You’re close enough. I’ll get you a firedagger and you can?—”

“Did you hear anything I just said?” Alina snapped. “Besides, if I couldn’t kill him when he was my worst enemy, what makes you think I’d do it now that I’m in love with him?”

Kaia looked like she’d been slapped in the face, and by God, for a moment Alina had the urge to do just that.

“Go.” Kaia’s words were a wall falling between them, and the sensation that had been nagging at Alina for weeks now was confirmed in that moment: she did not actually care.

Kaia just wasn’t built like normal people. She was a lone agent and always would be, with Orion being the only one she’d ever trust. Kaia would never need her orwanther, and it wasn’t her fault. It was just a cruel twist of fate that an assistant with a compulsion to take care of people was assigned to a charge who didn’t want taking care of.

This was never going to work, not from the beginning. The realization felt like releasing a ballast.

Alina gave Kaia a short parting nod and left her to her scheming.

“How does it feel to be a traitor, Argoud?” Alina froze with her nutriwrap in her hand at the canteen the next day. She looked up to find a woman she didn’t recognize scowling behind her in line for the dispenser.

Of course it was only a matter of time. Orion knew, then Kaia, and then Isabelle. They had no reasons to keep Alina’s relationship with Threxin a secret.

“I’m not a traitor,” she frowned.

“Is that what youruhyre invader convinced you of? You’re fucking him for the benefit of humanity?” The woman shouldered past her and punched a button on the dispenser.

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