Page 110 of Command

“I…” She cut herself off before she could reveal her knowledge of this information. Threxin had told her when they’d be jumping, roughly. She had known it must be any day now. But Renza didn’t need to know that she knew…

“You know,” he said.

So much for that.

How much could she say? How much had Threxin told him?

Why was she still covering for him anyway?

“He has been distracted,” Renza grunted. “Because of you.”

“I can’t imagine why. He hasn’t spoken to me in weeks.” Alina huffed in hushed tones and pushed to her feet, kicking the blankets aside. She swayed a little as the last remnants of stolen sleep faded. She glanced over Renza’s shoulder to see if the orange one was still back there. It seemed he was not.

“He cannot.”

“Oh? Has he gone mute after he…” Alina bit her lip before she could say something wrong, reveal more than Renza already knew. How muchdidhe know anyway?

“After he mated you.”

Mated me?

Was that what he’d called it? Alina’s stomach turned. Somehow “mating” seemed so much more grotesque than “sex.” More grotesque even than “fucking.” Alina realized her hands had drifted to her stomach instinctively, and she shoved them instead into the pockets of her work suit.

“I’m going to be sick…”

Renza ignored her. “Do you understand how close you came to dying that night?”

Alina set her jaw and looked away from him.

Keep yourself together.

She had certainly not been intending to show how hurt she really was to anyone, much less this stranger.

That was a lie—she’d gotten to know Renza before she even truly knew his brother. Renza had been the one she’d known as they tried to keep Threxin alive in her cabin. For the past weeks, she’d had no one to be honest with about the hurt of it all. Not her parents, who were long gone,gallivanting in Heaven somewhere. Not Dr. Pertin, who’d certainly judge her certifiably fucking insane and act accordingly.

Certainly not Threxin, who had enough to worry about and didn’t even want anything to do with her anyway. Alina realized she’d been slowly coming to terms with the idea that he had given up on her. After everything, after they got avaccine—how did he do that anyway? He’d left her after all.

But Renza. Renza was far enough from it all. He probably wouldn’t even care. Why should he care about some stupid human teetering on the verge of a breakdown as a sob escaped her chest? Tears began to spill and Alina tried to bat at them with the edges of her sleeves, but they just kept coming.

Renza stood there, unmoving, and Alina was grateful for that. She didn’t need comfort. She just needed a witness.

They stood like that for many “ticks.” She didn’t even know how long it had been. At some point Alina sank back into the pile of crinkly blankets and put her forehead against her knees, shuddering with each cathartic wave of teary release.

Eventually it was done, at least for now. She cried her grief out using the presence of this alien as the vessel for her pain. When she looked back up at Renza his expression was grim and comfortingly unsympathetic. He witnessed her shit and it didn’t affect him, which meant she didn’t have to feel guilty about it.

“The limiter is hurting him,” she coughed through a stuffy throat, voice nasal and blocked.

Renza drew in a short hiss through his teeth, then lowered himself to his haunches, coming closer to her eye level though still he loomed over her. “The limiter failed, Alina Argoud. The limiter was not what saved you.”

“F-failed?” she asked through a blubbery hiccup, dragging her knuckles over wet cheeks.

Renza lifted his chin. “He is afraid to go near you. Of failing to stop himself next time.”

Alina didn’t have the energy or wits about her to consider what he expected by telling her this. A migraine was already creeping behind her eyes. She had cried out so much liquid, her head throbbed and her mouth was parched.

“Why are you telling me this?” What did Renza want her todo? It seemed an impossible situation. A failing limiter… How the hell was she supposed to fix that?

And without his limiter, what kind of a commander would Threxin be? What had she turned him into with her stupid, impossible fantasies?

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