Page 44 of Faking It with my Billionaire Grump

“Mom, it’s not real,” I said bluntly.

“Maybe not yet, but now, you can get to know each other again. I’m still convinced that the only reason Jake hasn’t settled down yet is because he still feels something for you.”

In truth, I couldn’t argue with that. It’s something I’ve been wondering about, too. Not whether he still feels for me,particularly, but why he hasn’t found someone to share his huge ranch with. And during these last couple of weeks, there have been a few moments between us. Nothing earth-shattering, but enough to make me stop and think.

“Besides,” Mom continued. “You’ll get a taste of what it feels like to be together again. That could be all that Jake needs.”

I spun to look at her then. “And what about me?” I said. “What about my needs?”

Mom was a bit taken aback by that statement, and floundering, she stumbled over her words. “Well… er, yes… you have to… I suppose if it’s what you want.”

“Honestly, Mom,” I countered. “I have no idea what that is anymore.”

And that’s the truth. I’ve been pulled back and forth by one person or another, and when I think about it, I’ve kind of lost who I am.

Mom looked at me for a long moment, her face a picture of uncertainty of what she was supposed to say. I don’t expect her to understand. We’re not the same. She’s lived her life for Dad and this small town, and if that’s what’s fulfilled her all these years, I’m happy for her.

But I don’t want to live for anyone else. I want to live for me. Only I hardly know who “me” is. Clearly, Bryan did his narcissistic magic on me, and I’ve done what I swore I’d never do: I’ve lost myself.

A little later, Jake picked me up, and now, I’m following him up the stairs of his house. Yes, it does feel weird. I just have to remember why we’re doing this.

“This is the guest bedroom,” Jake says, opening the door and showing me inside an immaculately clean room. “Cal uses it when he comes to stay. There’s no ensuite, but the bathroom’s down the hall. It’s all yours. I never use it.”

“Oh, good. So no embarrassing semi-naked encounters, then,” I blurt nervously.

I don’t know why I’m nervous, really. Jake is the only man I trust, apart from my dad. Besides, he’s going out of his way to help me. It would have been far easier for him to say no.

He grins down at me. “I’ll let you get settled in.”

Once he’s closed the door behind him, I look around the room. It’s tastefully decorated and very neutral. I suppose it is the guest room. Throwing my suitcase on the bed, I pull the zippers and flip the top open. My life, in one bag.

You’re being dramatic.

Maybe. But it’s not altogether untrue, either. Sure, I still have some things at Bryan’s apartment that I will likely never see again, but when I think about the last ten years, what have I really accomplished? Apart from doing pretty well in my job—and yes, I’ve been wise with my money—I have nothing else to show for all the time I’ve been away.

I shake my head and begin to unpack. I don’t know why I’m suddenly being so reflective. Jake’s ranch and what he has done with his life probably has something to do with it, though. Comparing our journeys is hardly helpful, but somehow, I just can’t help myself.

By the afternoon, my negative thoughts have left me. Either that, or while I’ve been outside, washing the windows of the house, the soft breeze out here has blown them away. We had lunch earlier, and I was surprised when Jake asked me what my plans were for the afternoon.

“Don’t you have a job you want to assign me?” I joked.

He shrugged. “You’re not my servant, Tilly. Just because you have to live here doesn’t mean you can’t come and go as you please.”

“I get that. But I owe you a debt for what you’re doing.”

He waved a dismissive hand. “I think you’re suffering enough. I don’t need to add to that.”

It was a far cry from our first conversation at the beginning of this whole saga when I had pleaded for his help, promising to do anything in return. But then, a lot has changed since then. Jake had mellowed toward me, for a start, and rather than considering it a burden, I now find I quite enjoying being at the ranch.

Looking after Greta makes me feel good, and the other animals—yes, even the pigs—are all starting to find a place in my heart. I thought Jake was nuts when he told me he had named them all, but now, I get it. They all have their own personalities and little quirks. The newest addition, the piglet we bought at the farmer’s market, is called Speedy. Jake thought it would be funny, and I’ll admit, I did laugh when he told me.

Jake had left to fix the fence surrounding one of the paddocks, and I sat on the porch for a while, looking out over the beautiful land. An hour later, I could feel myself getting restless, which is why I’m currently at the top of a stepladder, washing windows that look like they haven’t been cleaned for months.

I’m not super tall, so I have to stretch a bit, and as I do, I feel the ladder wobble under my feet.

“Easy, Tilly.”

Taking a firm hold on the wall, I rub at the windows, trying to stop the ladder from wobbling, but it’s still a bit unsteady. I’m nearly done. I just need to get that last…

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