Page 18 of Menage a Passions

“What? As an angle?”

What was that strange feeling in the back of her throat? The one making her want to cough? Vomit? “We’re three people living and loving together.” Her lips were dry. Cracking.Bitter.“I know that many people could accurately describe me as being polyamorous, but it also conjures up an image that isn’t true. Like, at all.”

Izzy cocked her head. “What image?”

“You know. Like we’re all in a relationship with three other people at any given moment. It’s not true, first of all. We’re all quite closed up like a ball.” Caitlyn enunciated with her hands, curling them together into a sphere of romantic influence. “Ideally, I don’t want Becca to be mentioned at all. To protect her, you see.”

“This is the social media age, Cait. People are going to find out. You’re better off getting ahead of it and crafting your own narrative.”

“I got uncomfortable chills down my spine from that.”

“Look.” Izzy’s face softened. “Some things have changed since you were last in the game over a decade ago. It’s not only a matter of embarrassing college pictures uploaded to your social media. It’s who youare.Now, what I would recommend is simply acknowledging it without making a big deal out of it. Say you’re married, you also live with another woman – together – and you’d prefer that be kept private.”

“You know what that sounds like, right, Izzy? I’m sure you’re very aware of some of the weirder accusations toward queer people right now. We also have a minor living with us and maybe… you know what, maybe this isn’t a good idea. I shouldn’t be going on a national stage with such a big spotlight on me.”

“I get what you’re saying, but Mrs. USofA does not exactly pull in the kind of numbers you’re worried about. Assuming you even make it to the top ten, hardly anyone will know you.”

Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of.The more Caitlyn thought about this, the more she realized that the only thing in it for her was the thrill of competition. And maybe feeling better about herself as she aged and changed.Ego. Bragging rights. Being called hot left and right.It was different coming from strangers.

“So, what does your wife think about it?” Izzy asked.

“I haven’t told her yet.”

“Oh?”

“No. I’m waiting until I’ve decided for sure. I want her blessing, but I also don’t want to make her needlessly think about this when she’s dealing with her family stuff. Becca knows, though. She thinks I should do it.”

“Becca, hm?”

“Suppose she might like to come along with me if I decide to do this…”

Izzy was still lost in thought. Caitlyn wasn’t sure she liked that look on the coach’s face.

She decided to bring it up with Jane three days later, cajoling her wife to join her for dinner while Rebecca and Cecelia stayed home. Caitlyn used the guise of wanting to talk private business, but in reality, this was the only way she could test the waters without being interrupted.

Naturally, Jane knew her well enough to also know that something was afoot. Something that had nothing to do with their current investments.

“Is this a date?” she slyly asked while they waited for their drinks. “Ooh, did you get us a room at the hotel, too? Been a while since you and I had a few hours to ourselves to enjoy our marital bliss.”

If she kept waggling her brows and moving her lips like that, Caitlyn would cancel her dinner order. “It’s Thursday night, Lin.”

“So?”

“So, we have a meeting at eight tomorrow.”

“So?”

Caitlyn shook her head. “I need to talk to you about something. That’s why it’s you and me tonight.”

“Not sure I’m loving this set-up. Sounds like you’re keen on divorce already.”

“For the love… would you let me talk?”

Jane leaned back and motioned for Caitlyn to continue.

She had rehearsed how she wanted to say this quite a few times, but it wasn’t coming so easily now.Crap.This was a woman who hadn’t been around for Caitlyn’s peak beauty pageant days. Oh, she had seen the photos. The trophies. The ribbons. She had heard the stories from Caitlyn herself, aswell as her mother Christine and others in the Adams family. There were no secrets about Caitlyn’s past. She had conquered the pageant world one contest at a time until she was either gaining sponsorships from consistent runners-up placings or traveling through Iowa, the Midwest, and even America as a representative of her home turf. There wasn’t a lot of glory in pageantry, but whatever there was, Caitlyn had mined it in a short amount of time. Enough that when Jane came along, she was happy to move on and embark on a new life as a jet-setting venture capitalist in Hong Kong.While married to one of the hottest sapphic bachelorettes in the Cantonese world.How else would Caitlyn earn an excuse to learn that language?

Yet she found a way to tell her wife, the woman she loved so much she married her twice.

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