Page 6 of Tiers of Joy

I take it and run my fingers over Jay’s handwriting.

“He asked me to give it to you a few months after the funeral. He wanted to give you some time. He said to tell you that he knows you’re sad and angry, but you need to stop wallowing. You are to read that letter and do as it says.” He states with a smile.

“I am not wallowing.” I defend.

“He said you would say that too. He said to tell you that if you don’t read the letter he will haunt you for eternity and…I apologise for this, but he insisted I say it. He will haunt you for eternity and laugh every time you trip over your saggy tits.” Frank blushes.

I smile a genuine smile for the first time in months.

“Don’t worry yourself about saying that, Frank. We always said we would grow old together, that he’d be tripping over his saggy balls and me…my…well…you know.” I say, feeling warm in my chest at the memory.

“Yes, well, you two always did have an odd sense of humour.” He smiles.

He pauses for a moment and then turns serious.

“There’s something else you should know, I'm divorcing Wendy. For too long I stayed quiet with her, but when Jay became ill it was the final straw. She didn’t even shed a tear. I will forever pay for my mistakes with Jay, but I have learnt from my own son that life is far too precious and short to be unhappy. For Jay’s sake I wish I had grown the balls sooner.” He sighs.

Shocked by his statement I reach out and squeeze his hand. He gives me a warm smile.

“It’s sad that it takes losing someone you love to realise what’s important.” He says patting my hand.

“Now I must go. If you need anything Esme, call me. I made a promise to Jay that I would look out for you and while I let him down all of those other times, I will not do it now.” He says while standing to leave.

“I will see myself out.” He leaves me staring at the letter from Jay.

My hands shake as I open it. I unfold the letter and take a deep breath and large sip of wine.

My Esme,

I know you're hurting and I know you miss me. I’m a loveable guy, of course you would. God, believe me when I say that even beyond the grave I know I will miss you.

You're surprised about my dad right? Yeah, me too. See, I came from some good after all.

Anyway, I know you. I know that you'll be sitting there now in your teddy bear pyjamas, probably surviving off of takeaways and wine. I'm right, aren’t I?

I would be doing the same if I lost you. I’d be wearing your teddy bear pyjamas too.

I laugh and wipe away the tears that are falling.

I am asking you, no, I'm begging you to go and live your life. Go and live your dream; own that bakery in Nova Scotia. Go meet the second man of your dreams, because let’s face there ain’t no one that can compete with me; I’m in a league of my own.

You'll notice on the back of this letter there are some bank account details. I had them put the account in you your name. There’s enough money for you to go live your dream, our dream. I had an insurance policy with the company and I had Dad make sure it got paid into this account for you. So go live our dream for me, but most importantly, live it for you. Go and open your bakery. Share your love of baking with the people of Nova Scotia.

So stop crying those sad tears. Go, be happy, build a new life, and cry tiers of joy! (See what I did there?) I love you more than I can ever express. Promise me you’ll go and live your life and be happy?

We didn’t get the forever we had planned, but I will never stop loving you.

Forever and Always.

Jay

Xxxxx

I wipe the tears that are falling and turn the letter over to see the bank information. I fire up my laptop and log in using the details given. Then the balance appears.

“Holy fuck Jay.” I whisper,

Staring at me is a balance of seven hundred and fifty thousand pounds. I grab my phone and text Sally to come over immediately.

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