Page 120 of Tiers of Joy

She squints and leans forward.

“Heavy load? Why have you written heavy load on your face? Is it a new health and safety guideline because you’re heavily pregnant?” She asks.

“Oh fuck.” Gaige laughs harder behind me.

“No, I fell asleep on the flour receipt and its print came off on my cheek. New bloody health and safety!” I say rolling my eyes and shaking my head in disbelief at what she just said.

I push forward.

“Excuse me!” I yell.

A customer turns and looks at me and then turns back around.

“Out of the way! Heavy load coming through.” She yells and then turns back to me. “There you go dear, all clear now.”

“Jesus Christ I’m dying!” Gaige continues to laugh uncontrollably.

I roll my eyes and storm out to the truck.

Gaige drives me home, thankfully getting enough of a hold on his laughter to actually drive.

It took a face mask, cleanser, and toner to get the writing off of my face.

I’m sitting on the sofa watching the Gilmore Girls. Gaige walks in with a bowl of ice bream and hands it to me.

“I’m sorry for laughing so much back there but you have to admit it was funny.” He smiles.

I smile and nod. “Yeah it was. Not so much at the time, but yeah. If it was anyone else I probably would have peed myself laughing."

“So um, my mother is coming to visit.” Gaige blurts.

“What?!” I say, sitting up straight. “But I don’t know how to talk to mothers!” I protest.

“You’ll be fine. She is trying to make up for lost time and you’re the most important thing in my life. She just wants to meet you.” He states and kisses my hand.

“Smooth, very smooth.” I smile.

“I try.” He shrugs.

“So when is she arriving?” I ask, taking a mouthful of ice cream.

“Tomorrow morning.” He replies.

“Oonemoro worning?!” I screech.

I hand him the bowl and jump up. Well, when I say jump up I really mean I shuffle to the edge of the sofa and do three rock back and forth motion. In my head I’m singing ‘heave-ho!’. Then I make it to my feet.

“What are you doing?” Gaige asks.

“I’m going to put fresh sheets on the spare bed. Then I need to hoover the room. Oh! Clean towels! And what shopping do we have in? I need to bake!” I panic.

Gaige takes me by the shoulders and directs me back to the sofa and sits me down.

“God I love that you want to make things perfect for my mom, but you don’t need to. The house is clean. There is enough food in and I can put clean sheets on the spare bed.” He says handing me the bowl of ice cream.

“Okay.” I relent.

He leans in and kisses me.

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