Page 90 of Tiers of Joy

I cut us each a slice and I can’t keep it in any longer. I need to tell him before I give myself a stomach ulcer from the stress.

“Gaige, that thing I need to tell you, are you ready for it?” I ask.

“Sure beautiful.” He smiles.

I jump up and grab the little box I put the bib and the scan pictures in. My hands are shaking as I place the box down.

Gaige takes my hand and kisses it.

“Whatever it is, don’t be nervous. I love you and that’s all there is to it.” He states. I smile.

I feel my nose begin to sting as tears fill my eyes. I watch him open the box. He frowns in confusion at first looking at the bib. Then he sees the photos. He freezes completely and just stares at them.

“I'm pregnant. That’s why I fainted. I had the scan today, the baby is healthy and - ”

“I thought you said you had the implant.” He interrupts.

“I do but I was misinformed; I thought it was five years of protection when in fact it was only three. I feel like a total idiot.” I admit.

“And it’s mine?” He asks.

I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut with that question.

“Yes of course.” I answer.

He sits in silence, gripping the picture in his hand.

“Gaige, say something.” I whisper, tears running down my face.

“I've got to get out of here.”

He storms out, dropping the scan picture on the floor. I hear the door slam and his truck screech off.

I sob and pick up the scan picture. I go to bed and lay down. I thought he would be shocked but happy. I didn’t expect that. He promised me he would never hurt me, he lied.

I lay there for I don’t know how long, crying until there’s nothing left in me. Exhausted, I fall asleep.

I feel the bed shift next to me and it makes me jump.

“Shhhh, it’s just me.” Gaige whispers.

I wipe my puffy eyes and get up out of bed.

“Esme, I’m sorry.” He apologises.

“Sorry? Sorry for what? Accusing me of being pregnant with someone else’s child and palming it off as yours? Or sorry because instead of talking to your pregnant girlfriend you decide to piss off, leaving her wondering if you would even come back?” I yell.

Gaige grips his hair.

“I'm sorry for all of that. I was shocked! I wasn’t even thinking about kids anytime soon. We haven't even had any time for just us. I’m scared! I mean, what kind of parents are we going to be? We didn’t exactly have the best role models growing up. We know nothing about parenting. I don’t know how to change a nappy or feed it! What if I mess it up and it ends being a drug dealer? Or worse, a politician!” Gaige smiles.

I laugh whilst wiping my tears. He walks towards me and pulls me to him.

“We learn, Gaige. Don’t worry, you won’t mess up its life, I won’t let you.”

“There is one upside to this. Apart from the baby of course.” He states.

“Oh yeah, and what’s that?” I ask.