Page 141 of Tiers of Joy

I look to him and I swear my look alone makes him retreat a couple of steps.

“Why are you still here?! Get out!” I yell.

He turns to leave but pauses.

“Err, I don’t think any of us will be going anywhere.” He states, staring out of the window.

I look up and see the craziest snowstorm I’ve ever seen. You can barely see through it.

Gaige.

Josie!” I yell.

I hear her come running down the stairs.

“What?” She asks.

“Did you get hold of Gaige? Is he alright?” I ask.

“Yeah. He’s stuck at Bob’s delivering. He said he will get here as soon as he can.” Josie answers nervously.

“Ohh fuck!” I pant. “Sweet mother of pearl! How do women do this for hours? I’ve been doing it for five minutes and I’ve already had enough.” I complain.

“Deep breaths and keep calm, all will be okay. Women give birth everyday. You are fine.” Dawn reassures me.

“Hoo-hee, hoo-hee.” I pant.

“She's right of course. You see, the world’s species give birth all the time and you don’t see them complaining about it. Take my dog Tootsie for instance, when she gave birth to her puppies it lasted hours. I think she only howled once. She panted a lot but never made a fuss. You only have one to push out so you have it easy.” The customer states.

I pant and Amy, Dawn, Josie and I look at him with murder in our eyes.

“I’m going to kill him.” I growl.

“No don’t be silly. You have to concentrate on yourself and the baby, ignore the idiot man over there.” Dawn says walking in front of me, intentionally blocking me off from murdering the customer.

“I can kill him and give birth. I’m a woman, I can multitask. I will plead that I didn’t know what I was doing, that I was delusional from the pain.” I threaten and the guy looks scared.

“Actually that’s a myth, women can’t multitask. No human can. You’ve also just preempted your plans to murder me, therefore under the criminal act of sub 2.0 sub section 14d you would be tried for murder since you planned it.” He points out.

“Seriously dude, you are not making this easy for yourself.” Dawn warns him.

“Owww! Son of a bitch!” I moan.

“Here, try leaning on the counter and rocking your hips from side to side. I will rub your lower back. It worked for me.” Dawn advises.

I do as she says. At the end of the day she has had kids so she’s been through this hell.

“Um, any chance of a tea?” The gentleman asks.

“Oh just fuck off!” I growl.

“I’ll take that as a no then.” He sighs, sitting down.

I breath, pant, rock my hips and Dawn, Amy, and Josie take it in turns to rub my back.

“Ahhhh, god. They’re getting stronger. Where the hell is Gaige?!” I cry out in pain.

Josie place down her phone and puts it on speaker. It starts ringing and eventually Gaige answers.

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