Page 104 of Tiers of Joy

“I'm sure you’ll be just fine though. The first pregnancy wasn’t too bad, it was the fifth that tore her right through.” He smiles.

I decide I’m having a caesarean.

“Well listen to me chatting on! That’s twenty-five dollars please.” He asks.

I hand over the cash and leave.

I try not to have a panic attack on the way home about what this child is going to do to me. What’s my body going to look like afterwards?! Oh god, what if Gaige leaves me because I’m that much of a mess?!

I pull up outside the house and walk in. I’m completely zoned out.

“Esme?” Gaige asks looking concerned.

“I don’t want empty tits.” I blurt.

Gaige, a bit taken aback by my outburst, walks towards me. I hold up my hand to halt him.

“I don’t want huge elephant piles and I don’t want a bucket vagina.” I whine.

“Okay. Where is this coming from?” He asks.

“Eric was telling me about Nellie’s pregnancies and after birth.” I shudder.

Gaige fights a smile.

“Okay. Well you know that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to you. Nellie and Eric have like five kids!” He states.

“I don’t want you to leave me when I look like roadkill. What if I end up with monster piles? You’re not going to find me sexy or attractive then.” I sob.

Gaige smiles and wipes my tears.

“I will always find you sexy and attractive, no matter what, even with monster piles. I would even go as far as to strap a bunch of grapes to my ass just to make you feel better about it.” He promises.

“Really? You’d do that for me?” I ask.

“Why wouldn’t I do everything in my power to make sure you always feel loved and adored? There is nothing I wouldn’t do to make you happy.”

I sob.

“Why are you crying?” he asks.

“Because you’re so lovely and sweet to me.” I blubber.

“Okay beautiful, let’s get you some dinner.” He laughs and kisses me.

I get him to help me cook dinner and he manages to do it without setting the smoke alarm off or breaking anything this time.

We sit and eat our dinner. I kept it simple with a stir fry. Gaige slides over a leaflet.

I put down my fork and pick it up, reading it.

“Antenatal classes?” I ask.

Gaige smiles shyly. I’ve never seen him be insecure about anything before.

“Yeah well, I went to the community hospital and asked some doctors if there were any classes or things I need to be doing.” He shrugs.

“You did that for us? For the baby?” I ask stunned.

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