Page 53 of Perfect Praise

Hottie Icicle

Flirting with older men? Are you into calling me Daddy?

I look up to see Locke sitting at his spot at the end of the table, nodding at a production assistant and fooling with his microphone. I think he’s joking, although I have no way to really tell through text message—it’s just something I feel. After thinking, I decide it does nothing for my body.

Me

No, I don’t think so. Are you volunteering as a test subject?

Hottie Icicle

Iamthirty you know.

Me

Soon you’ll be into birding just like my boyfriend Jeffrey.

HottieIcicle

Too late. I do that with him occasionally after I practice.

Me

You bird watch? Who are you?

Hottie Icicle

Don’t look so surprised. It’s quiet. No talking involved. And Jeffrey knows how to keep his mouth shut.

As if on cue, a reporter in the crowd asks Locke the first question cheerfully. “Home course, Locke. How are we feeling?”

Locke stares at him like he’s an idiot. “I don’t know how you’re feeling.”

The room collectively murmurs in various laugh levels.

“Of course,” the reporter says before humorously correcting himself. “How areyoufeeling? I imagine you’ve played this course the most out of all in the world.”

“Never counted,” he replies, shrugging. “I guess.”

“And Russell, you were out here yesterday putting and chipping. How are the greens treating you this week?”

Russell launches into a long-winded response about how they’re slow right now, so I take a look around.

One glare from the only female reporter here reminds me that the entire room seems to beawareof me.

I probably shouldn’t be texting Locke in the middle of a press conference in front of so many people who will put two and two together, butwhatever.

Me

Do you realize everyone here assumes we’re in a relationship just like I told you they would?

Hottie Icicle

Does that matter? They thought the same thing weeks ago when they were incorrect and we’d hardly ever talked.

Me

Oh my god. They’re still incorrect. Or are we officially fake-dating???

---