Page 35 of Take My Hand

Will

Waiting for a message from a womanandwondering what your teenage daughter was getting up to did not contribute to a relaxed Sunday afternoon. My nerves were shot to pieces. I’d spent most of the day checking my phone, turning it on and off to ensure it was working, even sending myself an email and a WhatsApp message from my PC.

When I wasn’t doing that, I was considering all sorts of scenarios between Maddy and Zak and none of them were good, especially as she’d messaged me earlier to say she didn’t need a lift. I had to keep reminding myself that Maddy was sensible, and Zak seemed like a respectful kid. As much as I adored my daughter and would give my life for her, I didn’t want her to have to go through what I had. It hadn’t been a struggle because of Miriam, and I’d make sure it wouldn’t be a struggle for Maddy. That didn’t mean I wanted her to have to make choices that hadn’t even been a consideration before. I loved my life, and I fucking adored my daughter, but would I have chosen to run a bar if she hadn’t come along?

That probably made me sound ungrateful, and I most definitely wasn’t. I had so much to thank Miriam for. I had my own bar because of her. I was a respected member of our community because of her. I just felt at times, if I hadn’t needed to do that for Maddy, I might have explored other things. I might have actually kicked my arse into gear and travelled or even studied to find my perfect career. I might have spent time to consider what would benefit me the most.

Suddenly, guilt swilled like poison in my stomach. I was a stupid idiot because who was I kidding? Without her, I would probably still be serving behind someone else’s bar. I knew, as she had, that I would never have changed my life if it hadn’t been for the responsibility of Maddy. My daughter was a lot brighter than me, though. More driven, more courageous, and more ambitious. Even if she did find herself with a kid, she’d be fine. That didn’t mean that I wanted some cocky new kid doing things to her that shouldn’t be allowed until she was at least thirty. Better still, once I was dead and gone and didn’t have to know about it.

Glancing at the clock on the cooker, I was surprised to see it was almost five. Funny how quickly an afternoon of worrying and pacing went by. I looked at my phone again. There was still a signal and still no message.

The noise of the front door opening took my attention away from the phone. I didn’t want to crowd her or come on too strong, so just called out to her.

“In the kitchen, sweetheart.”

“Hey, Dad.”

Instantly, my body sagged with relief. She sounded happy and relaxed, not like she was hiding anything from me. When she walked in, with a huge smile, I knew that I was right, especially when she came over and wrapped her arms around my waist.

“Did you enjoy your peace and quiet?” she asked.

“Not bad. I finished off some paperwork,” I lied. “How was your afternoon.” I stiffened in anticipation.

“Good. Played on the trampoline, watched a film, and then had pizza with his mum and dad.” Maddy pushed out of my arms and slapped at my chest. “You thought I’d had sex with him, didn’t you?”

“No.”

“Liar.” She frowned and shook her head. “Give me some credit,Dad.”

“I’m not sure how comfortable I am having this conversation,Maddy.”

“Seriously?” she asked, stepping back a couple of paces and crossing her arms over her chest. There was a determined jut to her chin, just like when she was a little girl who didn’t want to wear a coat when it was cold outside. “We’ve always talked about this stuff, ever since you took me to buy sanitary towels when I was thirteen.”

“Sanitary products are different from sex.”

“You gave me the talk, Dad. You even showed me how to put a condom on a banana when you said school hadn’t done it properly. So, how come now you don’t feel comfortable talking about it?”

I shrugged. “Because now it seems real.”

“Well, it hasn’t happened.” Her eyes were narrow. “It’s not even like I’ve had a date with him. We’re not even talking, Dad.”

“What the hell does that mean? I thought you’d been there all afternoon. Did you spend the day in silence or something?”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, for goodness sake, Dad. It’s what we do. We talk, then we date, and then we become boyfriend and girlfriend. What’s so difficult to understand about that?”

“In my day, you asked a girl out, and if you liked each other, you then you became girlfriend and boyfriend. If you didn’t, then one of you came up with an excuse not to see each other again.”

“Ugh,” Maddy groaned. “So Neanderthal.”

“The point is, Maddy, if you spent an afternoon with a girl in a house, where there were no parents, you did a lot more than watch a film.”

“Well, we didn’t. And did you miss the part where I said we had pizza with his mum and dad?”

“Yeah, I did.” I blinked slowly. “So, breakfast with me and then lunch with his mum and dad. When’s the wedding?”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying.” She turned around and headed for the door. “I’m going upstairs to do some homework, give me a shout when tea is ready.”

Then she was gone.