Page 42 of Take My Hand

She laughed again and reached out her hand and patted mine. “It’ll all be okay, love, don’t you worry.”

The smile I gave her was genuine because she’d made me feel a little bit better about things. Mainly because she was right. I couldn’t stop Maddy growing up. I couldn’t make her do anything, which was why her choice of university had to be exactly that, hers. All I could do was be there for her and hold her hand when she needed it.

“So,” I said, pushing my mug away. “Are you free all day?”

“I might be.” She curled her lips inwards, as if she was trying to hide a smile.

“Maybe we could grab some lunch. You could show me around Leeds.”

“I could, could I?”

Nerves swirled in my stomach, wondering whether I’d misjudged the situation. “Unless you’d rather just stick to coffee?”

Maya wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “No. I think that I like the sound of that.”

I sighed with relief and sagged back in my chair. “Perfect. Now, what do you fancy to eat?”

As we’d walked around the city centre, I couldn’t remember when I’d felt so relaxed. My mind had barely wandered back to the bar, all the bills that I needed to pay, Maddy and her future. I’d been fully invested in Maya, listening to her, talking with her, just watching her smile. Even the weather had done us a favour. A pale Winter sun had come out and almost fooled us into thinking Spring was already on its way. It was bright outside, and warm at our table next to the window of the small Italian restaurant we were eating lunch in.

“I love the colder weather,” Maya said, looking through the window. “But you can’t beat the sun, can you?”

“You can’t, not that I’ve felt any on my back for a couple of years.”

Her gaze whipped back to mine. “You haven’t had a holiday?”

“Not for…” I closed one eye and tried to figure out when it had been. “Seven years.”

Maya’s eyes widened. “Seven years? That’s a long time.”

I sighed because I couldn’t have agreed more. Once Covid hit I couldn’t justify a holiday, seeing as I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep the bar. Instead, I’d concentrated on offering a takeout service, and an outside bar at the weekend if the weather allowed. We also served hot drinks and bacon baps outside during the day, and while it hadn’t made me a millionaire, it had all kept us ticking over.

“The dreaded Covid,” I told her. “Maddy has been. Her friend’s parents offered to take her to Spain with them.”

“That’s kind of them.” Maya’s face softened. “Has it been hard being a single parent?”

I shrugged. “Some days are worse than others. Some years have been worse than others.” I laughed, shaking my head. “She makes it worth it, though, or so she tells me.”

Maya grinned. “When she’s not kissing boys.”

My heart dropped. “I never said she’d kissed the boy.”

“Oh, come on, if she’s as pretty as I’m guessing she is, then he’ll have kissed her.” She put a forkful of pasta into her mouth and raised an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes. “Now you’ve made me feel worse.”

“Ah, don’t worry, she’ll be fine.” She nodded at my plate. “How’s the steak?”

“Good. And the Carbonara?”

She nodded and licked her lips, distracting me. Her lipstick had disappeared ages before, and she hadn’t reapplied it. She didn’t need it anyway; she had plump, pink lips that I was desperate to kiss.

“Actually,” Maya said, pushing her bowl away, “you haven’t shown me a picture of Maddy. I’d like to see one.”

“You would?” Most women I’d been with changed the subject whenever it moved to my daughter. There’d been a couple who had been desperate to meet her, but I’d soon figured out that was just a way to get me to like them. If they loved my daughter, thenI’d love them. It didn’t work out like that, though. Yet with Maya, I did want her to get to know Maddy and not be freaked out that I had a seventeen-year-old daughter.

“So?” she prompted. “Can I see one?”

Putting my knife and fork down on my empty plate, I reached for my phone and flicked to the album of Maddy photos. I picked one taken a few weeks before when she was sulking and not talking to me. I wouldn’t let her go to a house party of someone she didn’t know. She’d given me the ‘I’ll be the only one not there’ speech, but I’d soon found out that was a lie. One quick call to Ana’s mum had confirmed she wasn’t allowed either.

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