Page 2 of Take My Hand

My brows knitted together. “Okay.”

“The thing is, Will… well, however I tell you this, it’s going to sound… God, I could kill Andy.” She gasped and closed her eyes. “Oh, bloody hell.”

“It’s okay.” I tried to hide my smile. That sort of inappropriate shit made me laugh. “Just say what it is that you have to say.”

“Okay well the thing is, Will, I’m just going to come out and say it. You have a daughter.”

At that moment, I knew how it felt for the arse to drop out of your world. My chest felt tight, as if it was too small for my heart. Sweat formed on my top lip, and I thought that I might puke. I was twenty years old—I couldn’t have a kid. I was just a kid myself.

“W-what?” I leaned forward and pinned my gaze to her lips so I could see the words as they came out of her mouth. “Say it again.”

“You have a child.”

Yep, I heard and saw it right. Miriam opened her bag, pulled out an envelope, and passed it to me.

“These are some pictures of her. Sorry, she’s a girl, or did I already say that. I said you had a daughter, didn’t I?”

I nodded and looked down at the white envelope in my shaking hand.

“Her name is Maddy and she’s adorable. She’s just five months old.” Miriam took the envelope from me and opened it. She pulled out a picture and held it up in front of me.

I looked at it but barely took it in. A dark haired, chubby kid was all I saw. I didn’t notice whether she looked like me or her mother. I wasn’t aware of whether she was cute or not, or what she was wearing. The image swam in front of my eyes.

“What do you… shit.” I rubbed a hand down my face. “I mean, I don’t want to speak ill of Andy but is the kid… fuck.”

“Yours?” she asked. “Yes, I’m pretty sure she is. Of course, we can arrange a DNA test, but Andy didn’t lie, and she told me right from the beginning that Maddy was your daughter. She found out she was pregnant right after she ended things with you. I mean, she might have known before. She was always trying to do everything on her own. You know, losing her mum, I think she just felt that?—”

“I don’t know what to say,” I said interrupting her. “I mean, I have a job in a pub. I don’t know if I can take care of a kid.”

Miriam took a deep breath and then took my shaking hands in hers. They were cold and soft, and something about them reminded me of my mum, even though I hadn’t held her hand in over ten years.

“Will,” she said softly. “I know that this all seems scary to you, but I’m sorry, son, you’re going to have to step up.”

I shook my head. “No, I can’t. That’s not possible. Can’t she stay with you?” I pulled my hands free from hers and gripped my hair. “I’m twenty, Miriam. I live in a shitty flat above a betting office, and I work nights in a pub. I don’t get home until three every morning.”

Miriam shrugged. “I don’t know what to say, Will, but I’m sorry—you’re going to have to deal with it.”

“How the hell can I deal with it? What do you suggest that I do?” I leaned forward to take a deep breath, gasping in air because I felt like I might collapse from a heart attack.

“I’m sorry, Will. I know that this is a huge shock.”

“You reckon?”

“The thing is, you really need to figure this out soon.”

I looked up at her, and she was chewing her lip again. Her blue eyes were brimming with tears, and I knew that what she was about to say wasn’t going to be good for me.

“Why?” I asked, swallowing back the scream of fear balled in my throat.

“I’m dying, Will and if you don’t take Maddy, then she’ll end up in care, and I don’t think you want that.”

I felt like I’d been punched in the gut—at Miriam’s news, but also the mention of my child going into care. I’d been brought up in the system from the age of nine, and it had not been good. It had been fucking hideous. Foster parents who only wanted me for the money they could earn. Being passed over for adoption because I wasn’t a cute little baby and had been labelled trouble. All I’d wanted was to be fucking loved. Playing up had been my way of getting attention. It didn’t take some prick with a degree to realize that.

“She’s a baby. She might get a good family,” I replied, hating the vile taste of the words in my mouth.

Miriam took a deep breath. “And she may not. Are you willing to take that chance?”

I stood up and took two paces away from the bench. “You can’t just put this on me, Miriam. I had no damn clue. She doesn’t know me.”

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