Page 77 of The Final Beat

“Listen,” I said, unable to stop myself from kissing the tip of her nose, “if it’s any comfort, you don’t look your age. In fact, you have the body of a woman twenty years younger.”

She scoffed out a laugh and I didn’t miss how her arm snaked further around my stomach. She seemed to be getting into the cute thing.

“Now, I know you’re lying,” she replied with a big sigh. “I have stretch marks and you can definitely pinch more than an inch of fat on my stomach.”

“Bollocks.” I tried to pinch her, but she squirmed away from me with a giggle. “I didn’t know you were ticklish.”

“I’m not. I just don’t want you feeling my flab.”

“Whatever.” Another kiss to the forehead and then we fell into silence. It was comfortable and I wished we’d had more moments like that.

The quiet was good, it was needed after all the rows and throwing of insults over the years. Maybe more times of peacewould heal us and make us into the couple that we were meant to be. Thepeoplethat we were meant to be.

“Do you ever wonder what might have happened if I’d sorted my life out when we were together before?” I finally asked.

She drew in a breath and then let it out, very, very slowly. “Truth?”

I turned my head on the pillow to face her. “Always,” I said softly.

Biting her bottom lip, she lifted a finger that she ran along my nose and then down to my chin. “You have a perfect profile, you know that?”

“I doubt that.” I scoffed. “So, was that your truth? You think my profile is perfect?”

“Nope.” She watched me carefully, her beautiful dark green eyes steady on my face. “My truth is Idowonder how we might have been if things had been different. But I don’t think about you not being an addict. I think about if Vinny hadn’t come into my life would I have given us more of a chance. I think if you hadn’t met up with him in the bar that night would I have broken things off. I also think,” she swallowed, “if you hadn’t told me you love me that night would I have got scared.”

My heart thumped as her words hit home. “I told you I?—”

“Yeah, you did. Look,” her hand smoothed down my chest. “I know it was probably the drink or the drugs or both, but the point is those words petrified me. Deep down I knew you didn’t mean it, but I was still scared. I kept thinking, what if he really does love me? The thought of it petrified me. Like physically making my legs shake. Then, when I followed you downstairs and you were with Vinny, it was something else that I couldn’t cope with.”

“And then you ended it,” I breathed out, my stomach clenching at the realisation.

She nodded. “I had to, but the point is, it hasn’t stopped me from wondering.”

Running my fingers through her hair, I leaned in and kissed her mouth. There was nothing sweet about it. I needed to tell her in that kiss about allmythoughts and wishes. How I wanted all the things that we could have been. She had to know that I wasn’t that stupid kid who said things through drink and drugs. I was a different person now and I wanted her, just like I had then, but had been too stupid to know how to say it. Too encased in drug taking that I’d thought I could sail through a relationship with Destiny without any effort.

I snagged her bottom lip with my teeth and ran a hand down her side, letting it rest on the round cheek of her arse.

“I have an idea,” I said, my fingertips tickling her skin.

“If you suggest more sex then,” she rolled her eyes, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, I may have to decline. I think my fanny needs a little break.”

I laughed because I had to admit she had a point. I’d fulfilled my promise to her, and the sex had been interspersed with short bouts of sleep. One of us would wake and then reach for the other to go another round. Hence we’d had sex five times which had resulted in a combined amount of thirteen orgasms between us. It seemed it was not an unlucky number.

“Not more sex, yet.” I pressed my semi against her thigh and earned another eye roll. “No, I was thinking that maybe we could spend the day here chilling out in front of the TV, eating crap and drinking hot chocolate.”

I held my breath, wondering what she might say. It wasn’t a very rock and roll way to spend a day, but it sounded perfect to me. That new normal I’d been thinking about.

“TV and hot chocolate?” Daisy frowned. “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”

“Yeah.” I nodded, gently brushing her hair from her eyes. “I do, Dais’. In a couple of weeks, we’re both going away for months. We’ll both be busy with no time for doing things like sitting in front of the telly and just relaxing in our pyjamas.”

“Just so you remember,” she said, poking me in the chest, “you don’t have any pyjamas here.”

“I’m sure I can find something else to wear,” I replied with an eyebrow wiggle.

She groaned. “I’m sure you will.”

“So? What do you think? Because I think we need this, Daisy. We’re in a better place with each other and it would be good to have some time just for us.” I tightened my arms around her and leaned in for another kiss. “I want to spend some time with you before we both go to different sides of the world.”

---