“Well, don’t lie to me,Zoe. For once in your life, be honest. Did you know he was married?”
“It wasn’t that simple,” she pleaded with a telling break in her voice. “I loved him. He was the love of my life.”
“And what about me, Mum? What about how it affected me? You must have known that he’d leave us one day, and that would break my heart.”
“I just thought that maybe?—”
“No, you didn’t think. You never do.” I strode away from the window and threw my hand into the air. “You’re the only person you everthinkabout.”
“That’s just not true.”
Fury flashed red behind my eyes as my mum inhaled and I knew that she was concocting her next lie or excuse.
"Don’t,” I snapped. “Don’t say anything because I don’t want to know. Whatever you say won’t benefit me in any way. The only person that benefits from anything you do isyou.”
“Joseppi, don’t say that.”
“Why not? Because it’s true.” I breathed deeply, trying to calm myself, but I was beyond a few breaths calming me down. “If it wasn’t for Auntie Mo, who knows where the hell I’d have ended up? Probably being homeless sharing a bottle of vodka with you while we push all our belongings around in a supermarket trolly.”
“Don’t be so disrespectful,” she snapped.
I scoffed, anger forming biting words that should never be said to the person who gave birth to you. “It’s the damn truth. She was more of a mother to me than you ever were. Auntie Mo was the one who came to watch me play football, the onewho helped me with my homework, who washed and ironed my clothes. She cared aboutmeandnotgetting pissed.”
“I can’t talk to you when you’re like this,” she yelled. “When you’re being unreasonable.”
“Well, don’t then.”
I ended the call and threw my phone in the direction of the sofa. It did nothing to slow down my racing heart, though. I was still raging inside, still needing to detonate the bomb of fury that was inside of me. The glass vase I chucked across the room did nothing to appease my anger. It missed the window and landed with a thud on the thick carpet. A quick scan of the room gave me no alternatives, so I punched the wall.
Immediately I felt the pain shoot from my fingers to my wrist. White hot waves almost brought me to my knees as tears stung my eyes.
“Fucking shit,” I yelled, cradling my arm against my chest. “Fucking, fucker.” As I stamped my foot, the realisation of what I’d done hit me like a tonne of bricks.
We had a show in just under nine hours and I’d fucked my hand up, big style. Broken or not, there was no way I’d be able to hold a drumstick. Never once when I’d been on the gear had I missed a show, yet a few years sober and it was going to happen.
“Wank.” With my hand throbbing, I went to the sofa and snatched up my phone and tapped out a number.
“What?” she growled.
“I need you, Daisy.”
The line went dead, and it was only an irritated banging on the door two minutes later that told me once again she’d come to save me.
CHAPTER 26
DESTINY
“What the fuck were you thinking?” My teeth ground together as I stared at Joey holding his hand against his chest. “Do you know how fucking difficult it is to get someone this late in the day?”
Taking the sensible road and remaining silent, Joey turned away from me and watched the young boy who’d been constantly heading a football for the last forty minutes. Little fucker was annoying everyone, and I was about to tell him. Instead, I took the sensible option and called Laura.
“Any joy?” I asked as soon as she answered.
“Just.” She gave a deep sigh. “Denny Roberts is doing it.”
The relief was immense. Denny was a decent session musician, really good in fact, and was in demand, so to get him was brilliant.
“Can he get here on time?”