Page 55 of The Final Beat

As he followed everyone else out of the room I felt the ground beneath me shift, because for once in my life I wished I wasn’t such a hard, selfish bitch.

CHAPTER 25

JOEY

“How does that feel?” Jake, my physio asked as he stretched my arm. “Has the pain increased since yesterday?”

I shook my head. “Nope. All good.”

It wasn’t. I wanted to throw a handful of painkillers down my throat and sleep for a few hours. That wasn’t an option, though. There was no way I’d chance taking drugs of any kind. It might stop the ache in my arm, but it would only create a whole other kind of pain.

Jake narrowed his eyes on me. “Sure?”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not perfect but it’s manageable.”

“Joey, come on.” He shook his head and examined my arm, feeling it with his fingertips. “The truth.”

“That is the truth. It’s manageable.” Honestly it was and I’d dealt with much worse when I first injured it. “I can cope with it. I swear.”

He gave me a sceptical look but didn’t say anything else. I liked his honesty normally, but today I appreciated his silence. Destiny and her past had fucked with my head and was all I could think about. I knew it was selfish. I knew that it should be about her and not affect me, but it did. I hadn’t slept for thethoughts of what that bastard had done to her. Images of him kicking her, kicking her baby flashed through my head every time I closed my eyes.

After another half hour of Jake torturing me I was free to go. The first place I fancied going to was the hotel bar, but that also wasn’t an option. Drink wasn’t necessarily my addiction, but it led to bad decisions, ones which I couldn’t afford to make. Not if I was to survive to see my old age pension being paid.

As I exited the lift I almost barged into Amber.

“Sorry, Ambs,” I said, placing my hands on her shoulders. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

She shrugged. “Me neither.”

“Where’ve you been?” Ronnie asked, appearing behind her. “I’ve just knocked on your door.”

“Having some physio with Jake.”

“Are you okay?” Amber looked crestfallen.

I smiled and nodded, not wanting to add to her current misery. “All good. Just a twinge after last night.”

“Yeah, Destiny was right. You were a bit erratic last night.” Ronnie’s expression mirrored Amber’s. The pain practically wafted from him as he looked me up and down. He took a step closer to me. “What caused it? Because something did.”

That was something that I couldn’t tell him. There weren’t usually any secrets between us but this one would have to be.

“Nothing. Just in a bad mood because I had my mum on the phone.”

“About your dad?” Ronnie jumped to the logical conclusion, and it didn’t feel right lying to him, but I had no choice.

“Yeah. You know how she winds me up.” Glancing at Amber, I watched her shoulders slump even further. “Honestly, I’m fine. What about you, sweetheart?”

She shrugged. “Not sure really.”

Ronnie stroked her hair and looked at her like she was the only light in the world. “She feels bad.”

“Bad? Why?”

“Because I’m not sad about Jimmy.” She chewed on her lip, tentatively looking between me and Ronnie. “I’m glad he’s never going to mess with me again.” She inhaled sharply. “I’m glad he’s dead.”

I got her. I knew exactly what she was saying. Head and heart were pulling me in different directions, and I felt like my insides were about to explode. I hated my dad, yet the idea that he was dead was killing me with grief. My chest felt like it was folding in on itself and my lungs were suffocating under the pressure.

“I get you,” I said, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. “Believe me, I get you.”

---