Page 52 of The Final Beat

“Not all addicts’ children inherit that component. You could have a child that grows up hating alcohol or the idea of substances. You would guide them and teach them that it’s not the best path to take in life. And,” she said, grabbing my hand, “if they did inherit that gene from you then you’d be there for them. Helping them through it.”

I frowned. “Why would I put another human being through that? I know first-hand how shit that life is. It’s worse than shit, it’s like hell, Ali, for the addict and their loved ones. I could never risk that by having a child. I just need to make Destiny to see that.”

“So, you’re serious about her then?”

If thinking about her being by my side in twenty years’ time was me being serious then yes, I was. If me wanting to kill a dead man to protect her was me being serious then, yes, I was. If the fact that I was thinking about her twenty-four hours a day was me being serious, then I was.

“I think I’m going to need that patience you mentioned.”

Ali’s lips thinned into a tight smile. “I think you’re going to need it in spades, sweetheart. She’s got a fragile heart and you need to handle it carefully.”

“I know.” I leaned closer to Ali and kissed her cheek. “Thanks for talking me down, Al. I don’t know what I’d do without you. None of us do.” I grinned. “So, we really could do with you not retiring, you know that don’t you?”

She arched her brow. “Well, I am, so stop trying to persuade me otherwise. Now,” she said, tapping my thigh. “We have dinner to go to.”

We were all eating dinner together, a tradition the night before our first gig of a tour. Everyone attended, us, Ali, the road crew, and the merch crew. It was always a big thing and Ali expected us to attend. I didn’t normally enjoy them, usuallybecause I was getting shit from Destiny, but tonight’s would be different.

“Yeah, we do,” I replied with a smile, wondering if I could use it as an opportunity to persuade Daisy to come back to my room. I knew I had to have patience, but there was nothing like foreplay and orgasms to get a girl to fall in love with you.

CHAPTER 24

DESTINY

As I watched the show from the back of the arena, it was clear to me that Joey was playing with a huge amount of anger and frustration. His timing was a little off and he was hitting the drums too hard. Even Beau, who seemed to be farting rainbows over the last few days, was frowning.

“What’s got into him?” Rocky, one of the lighting guys, asked as Joey burst into a drum solo. “He’s putting a lot of power into those beats.” He laughed and went back to changing the lighting as the guys started one of their ballads.

I hadn’t really thought about Joey’s reaction to finding out about Vinny. I hadn’t thought about it because I never had any intention of telling him. I’d only told Ali because I’d been pissed on brandy when she’d asked me if I was okay about leaving Vinny. That had been the last time that I’d talked about him to anyone for years. Until Amber, when Jimmy had hit her. No, Vinny wasn’t someone that I liked to even think about, never mind talk about.

“Destiny.”

I turned around to see Ali. She was wearing a suitable expression of contrition as she thumbed towards the exit door.

I nodded and followed her out to the concourse where you could only hear a buzz of the music.

“I feel I need to explain about Joey,” she said, giving me a quick hug. “I planned on doing it last night at the meal, but then you had a migraine.” She raised a sceptical eyebrow but continued. “The point is, I’m so sorry about telling him. I didn’t expect him to come storming straight to you.”

“But why tell him?” I asked with a shrug. “Couldn’t you have lied and said you didn’t know?”

Ali sighed. “I could have tried, but he was so upset. Upset and determined and I was worried that he might do something stupid if I didn’t tell him.” She blew out her cheeks. “He swore he wouldn’t say anything to you.”

I scoffed. “Well, he didn’t keep his promise.”

“I should have known. Joey acts on his heart and emotion, his head not so much.”

“You know I hate talking about him, Ali, and when Joey burst in it brought everything back.” I glanced along the concourse as a door swung open. Two drunken women fell out, singing along to the tune the guys were currently playing. They disappeared into the ladies’ loo and everywhere was silent again, apart from the clinking of bottles and glasses at the concession stands as they loaded the shelves ready for the next night.

“I’m so sorry, Destiny, I really am. He came to my room again after he’d seen you and he was really upset.” She pushed her hands into the pockets of her tailored trousers and looked down at her feet. “He cares about you, you know.”

If I knew anything about Joey, it was that he wore his heart on his sleeve and so I was totally aware that he cared about me. That was why I knew I had to distance myself from him. That was why I’d lied about the migraine to miss the meal. His anger over Vinny proved how he felt. I couldn’t go there again, though. I couldn’t let another musician take my heart in his hands.Especially one who I knew could break me even more than Vinny had.

“We’re just having sex, Ali.” I looked her directly in the eye, hoping she’d believe my lie. “That’s all we are, and we’re not even supposed to be doing that.”

She frowned. “Yeah, that was quite a surprise when he told me. He stormed in, said, ‘me and Destiny are a thing and I need to know who the fucker is who hurt her.’.”

I laughed seeing as it wasn’t a bad impression of him. “I’d hardly call us a thing.”

Ali arched an eyebrow. “Really?” She paused as the two women appeared from the toilets, screeching about someone’s huge cock. Once they were back inside the venue, her attention turned back to me. “Because I don’t think you’d have gone to Italy with him,twice, if you were just fuck buddies, or whatever they’re called these days.”

---