Page 31 of The Final Beat

“Hey,” I said quietly as I approached them. Ronnie looked up at me, worry etched all over his face. “I don’t know what to say, buddy.”

Amber wiped at her eyes and sniffed. “You don’t need to say anything, Joey.”

“I’m so sorry, though, Amber. I know he was… well, I’m just sorry.”

“Do you want to call anyone?” Ronnie asked her, brushing her hair from her wet face.

“Or do you want to go and see anyone?” Ali added.

She shook her head. “No. I’m fine, thank you, though.” She drew in a shaky breath. “He wasn’t really anything to do with me anymore, but I loved him once and I’m sad he’s wasted his life.”

“What happened?” I asked. “Do you know?”

“He overdosed on heroin,” Ali answered. “Hugo and Brandon found him at his flat. There was a woman with him, too. She died in hospital.”

My blood ran cold. Two people were dead because of the shit they’d pumped into their veins. Shit that I used to pump into mine.

“Fuck,” I muttered. “What an absolute waste.”

“He wouldn’t listen to anyone,” Amber added. “Always thought he knew best and that I was boring because I didn’t want to do it with him.”

“Thank god you didn’t.” I sat in the chair opposite to her and reached for her hand, one that was twisting a tissue. “Once you’re hooked on that poison, it takes a lot to get from under it.”

“You did.” Ronnie’s voice was quiet as he looked at me with fear in his eyes. He’d seen me at my worst, and I’d been lucky not to end up like Jimmy. Maybe there was someone up there keeping an eye on me after all.

“The police will likely be calling very soon,” Ali said. “Seeing as you’re still his next of kin.”

Amber clutched Ronnie’s hand. “I won’t have to identify him, will I?”

“I don’t know, baby, but I’ll be with you if you do.”

“No,” Ali replied. “One of us can do it, or Hugo, if necessary, but maybe as Hugo and Brandon were the ones to find him it won’t be needed.

“Will I need to sort the funeral?” Amber asked.

Ali shook her head. “Not if you don’t want to, sweetheart. I’ll sort it out. I’ll get the label to put someone on it. Unless he has other family members?”

“No. He only has an uncle who owns the flat, but he lives in Cyprus. They barely spoke.”

“I’ll get his number. It’ll be on Jimmy’s file at the label I would have thought.” Ali patted Amber’s hand. “And we willorganise the funeral. You don’t even have to attend if you don’t want to.”

Amber’s chest heaved with evident relief, and it made me even more thankful that I wasn’t still an addict. The idea of alienating the people I loved and having no one who wanted to organise my funeral for me was terrifying. Imagine being alone even in death.

Footsteps sounded behind me, and I turned to see Beau, Elliot, and Destiny coming in with glasses and a bottle of brandy.

“I’ll make you a sweet tea,” Destiny said to Amber as they placed everything on the table. “Do you want one, too?” she asked me.

I breathed in and watched her for a few seconds, wondering whether we would still be having sex secretly if I hadn’t been a junkie. Maybe we’d have made things work. Or, maybe we wouldn’t, I guess I’d never know.

“I’m good, thanks,” I replied, and not wanting to think about what ifs, I turned my attention back to Ronnie. He looked devastated, feeling the distress that Amber was giving off. “Is there anything that you need any of us to do? Go and see Hugo maybe and get the details?”

Ronnie shook his head. “No, thanks, mate, it’s fine. The police will probably be here soon.”

“Here you go.” Beau pushed a good measure of brandy across the table to Ronnie. “Drink that.” He then held out a smaller one to Ali who shook her head. “Don’t want to waste it,” he said as he knocked it back. Putting the empty glass on the table, he crouched down next to Amber’s seat and looked up at her. “Amber, love, I know that this has been a big shock, but don’t feel like you have to behave a certain way over this. He was a piece of shit to you, and it’s a shame he’s died, but you don’t have to grieve if you don’t feel it.”

Amber’s eyes widened, like he’d read her mind but if anyone knew grief, it was Beau. He knew what it was like to lose his partner and his child. He was intuitive and knew how she could be feeling… yet wasn’t.

“What if I hadn’t left him?” Her hand rubbed over her stomach as tears crept down her cheeks. “Maybe?—”

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