Page 90 of The First Chord

It was always the way. When you were desperate to leave somewhere every man and his fucking dog wanted to speak to you. On my way out of the venue a record producer, a music journalist, three members of other bands, and a model all stopped me. When I finally got to the exit Beau and Elliot were there, but no sign of Amber or Joey.

“Can we go?” Elliot asked. “I’m starving.”

“We need to wait for Joey.” Beau looked around the foyer and then pointed. “He’s here now.”

“You need to wait for Amber,” I said, getting my phone out to call her. “We can’t leave just us two. There are paps out there.”

“He’s going to fall over if he doesn’t stop running.” Beau shook his head. “If he breaks his fucking arm again.”

“What the hell is wrong with him?” Elliot frowned and made a step towards to Joey. “What wrong, mate?”

Joey skidded to a halt and the way he looked at me, my stomach rolled, and my heart lurched to my throat.

“Amber.” I could barely get her name out because my mouth was bone dry. “What’s happened.” I started to move back into the arena, but someone grabbed my arm.

“Ronnie, wait.”

“Get the fuck off me. I need to go to her.” I shrugged my arm away from whoever it was holding onto it. “Where is she?”

“She fell down the stairs. Some woman said she saw her fall, she tripped or something.” Joey stood in front of me and grabbed my shoulders, his arms straight out in front of him. “Take a breath, bud. We’ll go to her, but you need to keep it together. The ambulance are on the way and the venue’s medical team are already with her.”

“I don’t give a shit and I don’t want to keep it together. Just tell me what the fuck happened.” I tried to get free again, but with Joey in front of me and my arms being held, I wasn’t going anywhere. “Why won’t you let me go?”

“Because,” Elliot said firmly. “This place is teeming with photographers and journalists and unless you want to cause a load of shit for her, you need to calm down.” He forced me to look at him, holding my chin. “We’re all going to go over there and we’re going to be the concerned friends. Donotget hysterical.”

I couldn’t breathe, like I was suffocating. Like I had a plastic bag over my head. Feeling constricted I pulled at the collar of my shirt, but it didn’t help.

“Let’s go,” Elliot said, squeezing my shoulder. “No one is saying don’t show your concern, just try and control it. Okay?”

It wasn’t but I knew why it had to be. She wasn’t supposed to be anything to me. She wasn’t supposed to be the woman who I was in love with, but I was. There was no pretending otherwise.

Beau stormed forward, using his presence to part the crowds like Moses parting the red sea. People scattered giving us a free path towards Amber. With each step I felt more and more scared that we were going to be too late, so when I saw her twisted body at the bottom of the stairs, blonde hair fanned around her, I almost fell to my knees. When I spotted Jimmy kneeling next to her and holding her hand, I knew guilt when I saw it.

I pushed past Elliot, and ignoring the shouts of my friends to wait, rushed over to Jimmy and pushed him. He sprawled on the floor looking pale, sweaty, and blameworthy and I was ready to kill him.

“What the fuck did you do, you piece of shit?”

“Fuck off, I didn’t do anything. I only just got here.” He looked around and pointed at me. “He’s fucking crazy. You all saw that. You saw what he did.”

Joey grabbed my arm, but I had already pushed the medic away and was at Amber’s side, holding her hand. It was then that I saw a camera flash in my periphery, and I knew I’d just messed up.

* * *

I wanted to puke. I wanted to throw my guts up and then punch the shit out of the nearest wall. Jimmy’s face would have been preferable but seeing as he was unavailable the wall would have to do.

“Ronnie, mate,” Beau said, crouching down in front of me, “drink this.” He held out a takeaway cup which looked like it was filled with dishwater. “Best I could do. The coffee had run out.”

“I don’t want it. I just want to see her.”

He patted my knee. “I know but you can’t.” He stood up and moved to the seat next to me, his hand moving from my knee to my shoulder. “Whether we like it or not, he is her husband.”

The puke rose again, and I had to take a deep breath to stop it from appearing. The idea that Fox was in the room while Amber was being looked after killed me. She wouldn’t want him there, and I knew deep in my gut that her fall had something to do with him. It was written all over his sweaty, pasty face. He was too attentive, too concerned. Conveniently too fucking near to her when it happened.

“Why aren’t they telling us anything?” I looked over at the door, hoping that a doctor would appear. Just like the last thousand times there was no sign.

“They will when they can.”

“And where the fuck are Hugo and Brandon. Aren’t they supposed to care about her?”

---