Page 55 of The First Chord

“And you agree with her?”

“Well, not necessarily. Especially not what I’m about to tell you.”

“Ah shit.” I groaned and looked up at the ceiling, silently praying it wasn’t what I thought it might be. “Tell me.”

“Okay.” Ali cleared her throat. “Amber is traveling on the Blind Devil bus instead of with you and the boys when you go back on tour next week.”

“What the fuck?!” Nausea rolled around my stomach as my hand clenched into a fist. “You’ve got to be joking me?” She couldn’t go back on that bus and I hoped to god it wasn’t to get away from me.

“I’m sorry, Ronnie, but that’s what she’s decided.” Ali’s tone was quiet and calm, because she knew that was what I needed not to lose it. “We’re going to make sure she’s safe. In fact, Destiny is going to travel with them to make sure.”

“What if Destiny can’t be there, what happens then?” I could barely breath for the ball of fear which was lodged in the back of my throat. “What if she ends up on that bus with no one to protect her and he… shit, I can’t even think about it. Why the hell would she choose to do that?” The screech of my voice sounded alien, like it belonged to someone else. Like this shit wasn’t actually happening to me.

“Sweetheart,” Ali soother. “Please, just listen to me. I swear to you we’ll make sure that she’s safe.”

“You can’t, though, Ali. You can’t be sure because he’s a fucking snake. He punched her, besides treating her like crap the whole time. Did you see how he treated her?”

“I know, sweetheart,” she soothed. “He’s a vile individual, but it was Amber’s choice.”

“You’re sure she hasn’t gone back to him?” The thought terrified me. Not just for her but selfishly for me, too. If she decided to give him another chance and then he hurt her even more, I would kill him. I would honestly do time for that piece of shit.

“Nope,” Ali stated. “She was quite clear about that. When we told her that Destiny would be on the bus with them it was a great relief to her.”

“So why the fuck do it?” I got up and started to pace the room that had been Amber’s, looking around for something to throw. “Why put herself through that trauma?”

Ali sighed on the other end of the line, and I could almost see her face. Her expression would be soft while she chewed on her bottom lip, contemplating the right words. It was one we’d seen many times over the years.

“Ali,” I prompted.

“You’re not hearing what I’m saying, Ronnie.”

“I am. She’s going on their fucking bus.”

“Yes, and what I’m actually saying is that she’s doing it for you, sweetheart.”

“Me?” I gripped my hair, making it stand on end. “Why on earth would she do it for me?”

“Because she cares about you. She’s worried that Jimmy will make things bad for you and the boys. She knows what he’s capable of.”

I shook my head. “As if that fucker could do anything to hurt us? And what does she think he would even try?”

“I’ve said all this to her, but she said it was the best way. She’s not going back to him but wants to distance herself from you for your sake.”

It was utter bullshit. There was nothing that he could do to hurt me, and I certainly didn’t need Amber to protect me, especially if she was putting herself in the firing line. The idea of it was making the nausea rise with every second. I had never felt so protective of anyone in my entire life. Never felt so scared for them.

Shoving my shaking hand into my jean’s pocket, I went to the window and looked outside. It was a gloomy day with a drizzle of rain, not a ray of sunshine in sight and it felt like it was the perfect illustration of my life.

“I need to speak to her,” I said, watching as a squirrel ran across my lawn. “I need to tell her to stop being stupid and come back home.”

“Ronnie,” Ali said in a warning voice. “You’re too invested and I don’t want you getting hurt by this. Maybe Amber is right and taking a step back is the right thing.”

“I’m just being a concerned friend.”

“No, you’re not. You’re being too emotional. Don’t lose your head and your heart over a girl who is already married and who’ve you’ve known for only a couple of months.”

Two months, two weeks and three days.

“I’d take care of anyone in the same situation,” I protested.

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