Page 39 of The First Chord

“Shall I get some more drinks?” Amber asked me, her eyes going in the direction of the heavily petting couple next to me.

“I’ll come with you.”

We both got up and practically sneaked out of the room towards the kitchen and my beer fridge.

“Another beer?” Amber asked.

Nodding, I watched as she moved around, easy and confident in my surroundings opening bottles of beer and wiping up spillages. Her bare feet slapped softly on the tiled floor and as she reached to put the cloth back I caught a glimpse of her flat stomach. Her jeans dropped from her hips and displayed hip bones which jutted out. I’d noticed that quite a few of her clothes were baggy on her and since the first leg of our tour she’d definitely lost weight. Something else that I bet Jimmy was responsible for. His behaviour at least.

Amber had changed a lot since we’d become friends all those months ago. As well as being at least a size smaller she’d changed her hair back to her natural blonde but aside from the physical differences, she’d been turning in on herself slowly. Losing the tiny bit of sparkle that she had when I first met her. Yet I could have sworn the last couple of days she’d been brighter.

“You want an Aperol?” I asked. “Or you sticking with the beer?”

She thought about it for a second. “Beer. I don’t want to mix drinks.” She looked around me towards the door. “Do you think we’re safe to go back in?”

When I heard Beau’s deep laugh coming from the den, I guessed that we were. “Yep, I reckon so.”

“They’re really happy, aren’t they?” she commented, turning to pick up two of the bottles of beer and handing them to me.

A shadow passed over her features and I sucked in a breath. Knowing what she went through daily in her relationship felt like a punch to my own guts. I just wanted to ease her sadness and finding her a car and somewhere to live didn’t feel enough, but I could never offer everything that I really wanted to give.

“They are happy, and you will be again one day.”

She shrugged. “Who knows, the main thing is, though, I’m not sad today. You’ve made that happen, so thank you.”

Winded by her words, I simply nodded, and not sure what else to say I stepped to one side and let her pass.

* * *

Amber and Simmy were giggling about some dirty book that they’d both read. I was glad they were getting on because it would make things easier for her when we went back on tour. They’d even facetimed Belle in her hospital bed and included her in on the chat about some motorcycle bloke with tattoos.

“What are you going to do?” Beau asked, nodding in the girls’ direction.

“About?”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t act stupid, Ron. You know exactly what about. Amber. What are you going to doing about her?”

“She’s coming back on tour and we’re all going to make sure that piece of shit stays away from her and then she’s going to rent a cottage I’m buying.” I shrugged, not sure what else he wanted me to say.

“Your feelings. What are you going to do about your feelings for her?” He looked at me expectantly, like I’d seen him do to Ethan when he was waiting for him to say please or thank you.

I could lie and tell him there were no feelings involved but Beau would see straight through it.

“Nothing.” I shrugged. “What can I do?”

“Plenty,” he scoffed. “She’s left him. She’s living in your house. That would suggest that there’s more to this than you being a good mate and her accepting that.”

“That’s all she sees us as, honestly, Beau.”

“Ron, come on, I’ve seen how you two look at each other. I’ve watched it all night.”

“She’s married.”

“To a controlling, disrespectful prick.” He sighed. “Listen, I’m not saying go and have a full-blown affair, that’s not you and I’m pretty sure it’s not her. What I am saying, though, is tell her how you feel. Then, when she has everything sorted out with Jimmy, she knows you’ll be waiting for her.”

“That doesn’t make me sound like a sappy prick at all, does it?” I groaned while Beau laughed.

“No, it doesn’t.” He moved around to face me fully. “You’re a good man, Ronnie, and you’d be a good man for Amber. No one is saying she’s going to be the love of your life, she might be, she might not, but I think you owe it to both of you to give it a try.”

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