Page 3 of The First Chord

Page List Listen Audio Download Book

Font:

“Somehow, Jimmy, I feel you wouldn’t have achieved it so much if I’d been there.”

“No, because you’d have made sure I didn’t drink too much or smoke too much.”

He really didn’t understand sarcasm. Although, he probably didn’t expect it from me. I was usually so amenable and quiet. Always ready with an apology, even if it wasn’t my fault, just so he didn’t yell at me or make the atmosphere frosty.

“Do you want me to call room service for you?”

We were in a hotel in Lisbon and had been for two nights, and I wasn’t sure whether I was ready to get back on the bus. The tour, supporting Warrior Creek, had been harder than anything I’d ever done before. I’d thought for a long time that Jimmy cheated on me, but when I wasn’t around I could pretend otherwise. It had suited me not to think about it but when it was happening under your nose, it was hard not to. Being on the bus, though, brought a different set of issues. There were no other women to avoid, and I knew where he was at any given moment. The problems came because Jimmy got bored without his distractions. Bored and sulky and expecting me to be the one to open my legs for him whenever it suited him.

“Fuck no,” he groaned. “I can’t even think about food.”

He had gradually been changing from the fresh faced twenty-year old I’d met, and now lack of food and too much of everything else was making him gaunt and sallow skinned. His eyes didn’t show anything anymore. There was no fire or excitement, just disdain for everything and everyone.

“You should eat something,” I suggested, still feeling a small, inexplicable need to care for him.

“I said I’m not fucking hungry.” He coughed, sounding like an old man clearing a lifetime of nicotine from his chest. “Get me a bottle of water.”

Still not totally from under his spell, I got up without question to do his bidding. It was years of being conditioned to think he was the most important person in our relationship. He’d made me think it. The band’s previous manager, Chaz, made me think it. Ronnie, though, had made me see things differently. It was just a pity that rehabilitation from Jimmy Fox wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped it would be.

Grabbing a bottle from the minibar, which was closer to him than me, I handed it to him.

“Do you need painkillers?”

“Yes.”

Going into the bathroom, I searched through the bag with our toiletries in and came up with an empty packet of paracetamol. It had been a full pack of fourteen pills just three days ago which only proved how bad his hangovers were.

“I’ll need to go out and get some.”

“Don’t be long.”

No worry or care that I was going to have to wander the streets of Lisbon on my own. Not that I was worried, but some concern might have been nice.

“Get into bed and try and sleep it off a bit longer,” I said as I grabbed my bag and pulled out my phone. “I’ll be as quick as I can.”

Groaning, Jimmy threw back the duvet and got into the bed, without removing any of his clothes which stunk of another woman, orwomenfor all I knew. I left the room letting the door bang shut, one little act of defiance, while I typed out a text.

Amber Fox