Page 85 of Shattered

“Always,” Kal murmurs, striding toward Bray. The gym buzzes with activity today, and I blend in among the students, poundingthe bag on the opposite wall, wanting to give Brayden some space. He needs this time with him and the bag. I should be at home grading papers, but an inexplicable need keeps me close to him. I can’t bear to be apart. It’s as if a piece of me is missing whenever he’s not near.

Time slips away. I lose myself in the rhythmic thud of the bag. Thoughts whirl in my mind about us, about Brayden, about everything. How do I navigate this? How do we move forward? As his teacher, an invisible barrier prevents me from being there for him the way I want to be.

My bed feels emptier each morning, devoid of his presence. The absence of his face, his scent—it’s been a cruel few weeks without him by my side.

“Boh.” I snap out of my trance, realizing the gym is now empty. Kal stares at me. “I’m going.” My eyes scan the area where Brayden was last, but he’s nowhere to be found.

“Where is he?” I question Kal.

“He’s in the pool. Said he wants to swim some laps before heading back to the dorm. Told me to go.”

I nod. “OK. I’ll see him before I leave.”

Kal nods, lips pressed tight. He’s a good kid, he looks up to Bray, which automatically earns my respect. I don’t think he fully grasps the situation between me and Brayden yet, but he seems to be adjusting.

I unwrap my sore hands, always pushing a bit too hard. When it’s just me and my mind battling the bag, stopping becomes nearly impossible. I roll my neck, heading toward the changing rooms. Once inside, I pass through the doors to the swimming pool.

But he’s not here.

I return to the changing rooms, calling out, “Brayden!” Silence.

I round the corner, spotting his belongings on the side. He’s still around. Frowning, I double-check the gym—no sign of him. Back to the pool, still nothing.

My eyes catch the sauna. It’s a recent addition, something Denny insisted helps the team’s muscles. Brayden isn’t typically one to use it all that much, but maybe he’s inside.

I push open the sauna door, and the heat greets me like an urgent wake-up call. He’s there, sitting on the lower bench, legs spread wide, arms draped over the top benches.

“I’ve been searching for you,” I mutter, stepping inside and closing the door behind me.

“Here I am.” He sighs. “Though you’re a bit overdressed.” His raised eyebrow follows as I peel off my top, leaving only gym shorts.

Sitting next to him, I allow the sauna to loosen my muscles; the heat sinking into my bones.

“Rough day?” I ask quietly.

“You could say that,” he replies.

“Talk to me,” I urge, recalling what I told him in the hospital.

He exhales heavily. “It’s hard to explain. I feel like I’m about to burst, like there’s a scream inside me—so loud, Boh. It shakes my insides, but no one else can hear it.”

“That’s grief, Bray,” I say. “You can sense it and feel it, but it’s uniquely yours.”

“It’s shit,” he admits, running his hands over his face. “I’ve missed you,” he adds, hair falling into his eyes as he rests his chin on his chest.

“I miss everything about you,” I confess, laughing. “Not waking up to you—it’s unbearable.” I turn my head, meeting his gaze. Sweat trails down his body, and I can’t help but follow every drop, every movement.

“Sir,” he whispers.

“Brayden, don’t,” I grit out.

“Sir,” he repeats. His voice signals to my dick as it takes note, and I should be put on a world record for how fast it hardens. His body rises in goosebumps as his fingers run along my arm.

“Please, sir,” he begs, and he taunts. He knows what that word does to me. He knows how much I love him calling me sir.

“Brayden, we are at school.”

“That didn’t stop you in the shower.”

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