“Bohdi.” His head rises, his eyes rim with new shed tears.
“I’m too broken. Please, just let me go.” A tear leaks from his eye as I reach out, brushing it away.
A bittersweet laugh escapes me. “I can’t, Brayden. Even if I wanted to, I can’t. I’m addicted to all of you. Even the broken pieces.” He shakes his head.
“You don’t mean that.” I stand up, sitting beside him on the bed.
“I mean every fucking word. Don’t ever question what I feel for you, because its’ fucked up Brayden. My obsession and need to always have you with me scares the shit out of me. The way I’m a broken mess when you’re not around and then when you are, it’s as if all my pain floats away and I’m left with you. You’re not my light in the darkness, Bray. You’re my company in the darkness. You’re my comfort. Nothing comforts me more than holding you among the chaos.”
“We’re a mixture of broken pieces, Boh, don’t you see that?”
“We’re picture perfect in a shattered frame, Bray. A beautiful broken fucking mess.” I smile at him, leaning forward and capturing his lips in a gentle kiss.
“I love you too,” I whisper. He gasps, sucking in a sharp breath as I capture his lips again and pull back. “So, fucking much.”
“Boh.” His pained eyes flicker between mine.
“I’ve been at your door for longer than you think, Bray. I’m knocking. I need you to let me in.” He nods, a small smile appearing on his lips. “I promise you, Bray. Fall for me and you won’t ever have to fall again.” Tears leak from his eyes.
“How are you real?” he croaks, and I lean forward, kissing each tear that leaks.
“I’m real because of you.”
“You love me?” His eyes flicker between mine, brighter than they were a minute ago.
“So much,” I whisper, my lips touching his again.
This time, Brayden opens up for me, my tongue dancing with his, slowly, as I put everything into this kiss. The love I have for him, the shared pain we have. Everything that has led me to this point. To loving Brayden Quake Anders. Brayden moans as his head tilts to the side and in that moment, I get lost in him, my dick hardens with every swipe of his tongue. But then the machine starts beeping and as I jump back, just before the door opens, a nurse walks in frowning at Brayden's incredibly increased heart rate.
You’re in a fucking hospital, Bohdi, where they think he is your son. What the fuck are you doing?
“Are you OK?” The nurse’s voice cuts through the room, addressing Brayden’s swollen lip and drowsy appearance.
“Uh-huh.” He nods as she approaches the machine, monitoring his now slowing heart rate. I watch him, wide-eyed, as he smirks at me.
In that moment, I glimpse the playful side of Brayden. If it means just coaxing a small smile from him—even once a month—I’ll gladly accept it and carry on risking everything. As long as each smile is because of me, I don’t care how infrequent they are. I want him to grieve naturally. No fake happiness around me. Let him scream when anger consumes him over Bex’s loss. Allow the tears to flow when the pain becomes unbearable. And yes, let him smile because of me.
Maybe someday, when he thinks of Bexley, it won’t hurt as much and he’ll smile for the life they shared, even if it was only a fleeting amount of time. Those precious memories deserve to live on. The nurse gives me a sidelong glance as she walks away from the machine. “You’ve got some impatient boys out there,” she informs me. “They practically demanded, in not-so-polite terms, to see their boy. The broody-looking one threw in a few choice swear words.” she says before leaving.
“Kal,” Brayden and I say simultaneously, sharing a chuckle. “I sort of forgot to mention they were here,” I admit. “Don’t tell Kal, he hates me already.”
“He doesn’t hate you—he’s just fiercely protective.”
“Sure.” I smirk, leaning over to kiss Brayden’s forehead.
“Yeah, stay away from my lips, please. I lose control around you,” he murmurs, adjusting himself discreetly under the covers, which is what I done while the nurse checked the machine.
“Got it.” I wink. “I’ll let Kal in before he stages a riot out there,” I say. “But I’ll be back as soon as they’ve had their one-minute visit.”
Brayden shakes his head, smirking. “Oh, Bohdi.”
I glance back, raising an eyebrow. “When you return,” he says softly, “can you tell me about Jace? I want to know everything—the good and the bad.” His smile warms my heart.
For the first time in a while, I’m ready to share memories of Jace, the ones that shaped us both. “I’d love to,” I reply, smiling back.
Chapter forty-three
Brayden