Page 74 of Shattered

“Who is she? For the way you’re acting, I’m assuming it’s not good?”

“Cash, I’m in big trouble,” I admit, a tear slipping from my eye as I comprehend the consequences.

“Cash, the one person I’m not meant to love, is the one thing I crave more than anything else in this world. I’m at a loss for what to do.”

“Boh.” Cash stops momentarily. “I need you to talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I’m in love, Cash. I’m in love and they saved me without even realizing it, but I can’t—” Silence fills the air but Cash is toosmart. He knows there’s only one thing that could make me feel this way.

“I—it’s not a student, is it?”

It is impossible for me to say no to him. I can’t lie to him. I answer his question with silence.

“Fuck, Boh,” he says, and we fall silent again. Staring at the trailer door, my mind races. Brayden’s world has come crashing down and me being around him could make it worse. I contemplate how to handle this. Can I walk away? Just thinking about it makes me physically sick. There’s a faint sound of waves that I can hear.

“Are you at the beach?”

“Mhmm,” murmurs Cash. “I had a suspicion I’d need to have a conversation with my son after talking to you, and it appears I was correct.” The silence returns, and all I can hear is the strong wind over the speaker. I have a clear mental image of Cash’s position, so I close my eyes and picture myself next to him on the beach.

“Brother, I’m really missing you.” I sigh.

“Miss you too, Boh.” Cash’s voice drifts with the wind. “Come home for a bit, Boh,” Cash whispers. “Come. Be with your family.”

I imagine leaving here, leaving Brayden, leaving him to fester in his pain, and I can’t. I can’t leave him. I had family around me, but I know what it was like to go home at night. You feel so lonely. There’s no one there to hold you while you cry yourself to sleep. No one to share your pain and tell you everything will be OK when you both know it won’t but that you cling to that false hope. I know how ruined it made me, how much I crawled into this dark hole and shut everyone out. How much I resented anyone that was happy.

I know it all too well.

“I can’t. I need to be with him, Cash.”

“Him?”

“Cash, I’ve got to go.” I put the phone down, opening the car door. I don’t care what anyone has to say. I’m there for him. I’m going to hold his pain and treat it as his own. I’m going to be the one he cries too. I’m going to stand by him each day and even if I have to watch him grieve and there’s nothing I can do. I want him to know he doesn’t have to use any strength because I’m going to carry him through it.

Chapter forty

Brayden

The commotion of shouting stirs me from my hazy sleep. Initially, I assume it’s my mother caught in an argument, but the voices are too deep, too masculine. I turn my aching head toward the door, and there they stand: Kal and Bohdi, locked in a tense standoff, chests colliding, fists clenched.

“What the hell is happening?” My voice, scratchy and raw, pierces the tension. Both Kal and Bohdi snap their attention toward me.

“I was just telling our teacher here that he needs to leave.”

Bohdi’s tormented expression bores into me, as if he senses the pain I’m struggling with, like he’d do anything to ease it.

“Bray, please.” His eyes plead with me, and I realize how much I’ve missed him. I can’t gauge how long it’s been since he was last here, but the ache of his absence is physical.

“Kal, please.”

“No.” Kal’s face contorts. “He’s taking advantage, Bray. I won’t stand for it.”

“Kal, it’s not what you think.” Kal whirls around on his heels.

“Then tell me. You’ve kept this from me. Explain what it’s like. Help me understand.” His voice cracks. “I can’t bear to watch you suffer like this and do nothing.”

“I need him, Kal.” My trembling lip betrays me, and tears blur my stinging eyes.

“Kal.” Bohdi’s voice breaks through, and Kal’s head snaps toward him. “I know you said you’d report this to the dean, and you know what? Go ahead. I don’t care about my job. I don’t care about teaching. The only person I care about is lying there, shattered, while we stand idly by.” His finger points at me, and I gasp, the weight of his truth settling on my exposed vulnerabilities. “I’d sacrifice everything for that boy. Everything.” His gaze locks onto Kal’s, a tear escaping from the corner of his eye. “But remember, it won’t be just me you’re hurting. It’ll be him, too.”

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