Page 8 of Make Me Feel Again

“Some water, please,” she whispers.

I walk into the kitchen and grab the filtered water from the fridge before seeing an open bottle of her favorite wine. I fill up a glass of water but also a glass of wine for her. This may calm her a bit and help her sleep. She wears a small smile as I bring both glasses into her. White wine has always been her favorite. She takes a couple of sips of the water and then reaches out for the wine.

“Thank you.” She takes a few pulls, and her shoulders drop as a little bit of stress leaves her body.

Rylee wavers as she gets to her feet.

“I think I need to go lie down.” She walks toward her bedroom. Anxiety courses through me when she turns the corner and is out of sight. I pour myself a glass of wine and drop onto the sofa. My body relaxes and I let my head drop back, and stare up at the ceiling. With every sip of this wine, the stress leaves my body more and more.

I’m happy we found Rylee, and I have her back here safe, but knowing he’s still out there has me on edge. We won’t be able to relax until he’s found. I jolt upright at a noise breaking me from my thoughts and place my glass on the table. I stare at the front door until I hear the sound again. Crying. I storm toward the bedroom and knock on the door.

“Rylee. Rylee. Are you okay?” The crying continues. “Rylee, if you don’t answer me, I’m coming in.” She doesn’t answer, so I open the door and scan the bedroom, not knowing what I’ll find, James maybe?

But what I find is Rylee curled up on her bed, her knees pulled to her chest with her hands wrapped around them, and she cries into her lap. Her shoulders tremble with the hysterics of her sobs. I stand still, not knowing what to do. I want to console her, but my body freezes.

“I’m so sorry, Cash. I’m so fucking sorry.” The pain in her voice pulls me toward her, and then I crouch down next to her and place my hand on her back.

“Talk to me, what’s going on? You don’t need to be sorry for anything,” I whisper. Her head rises, and her bloodshot eyes pierce my heart. She’s so broken, and I don’t know how to fix her.

“I do, Cash. It’s all my fault, the whole thing is my fault.” More tears leave her eyes.

“Rylee. I don’t understand what you’re saying. What’s your fault?”

“Jace.” Her voice cracks, along with my heart as she says his name. “He’s dead because of me.” The sobs echo against the walls. She stares me straight in the eyes as tears run down her cheeks. “If it wasn’t for me, Jace wouldn’t be dead.”

I rear my head back. What is she talking about? It has nothing to do with her.

“Rylee. Are you okay? I think you’re tired. What happened to Jace was a freak accident, it has nothing to do with you.” I try and coax her back from crying. I’m sure she hasn’t slept and is confused right now.

“He . . . he—” A sob breaks from her throat as she looks at me again. “James killed him.”

I drop back onto the floor, landing with a thud.

“Wha-what.” I shake my head. “Rylee.” Tears continue to track down her face.

“James had it in his head that I was his all along, from the night I met Jace. He believed I was his, so to get me, he killed Jace. He drugged his drink the night at the bar, that’s what caused the crash.” She takes a deep breath as her nose wrinkles and her lip curls in disgust.

“Jace is dead because of me. If he had never met me that night, you would still have your son here now.”

Chapter eight

Rylee

Iwaitforthedisgust from Cash, I wait for the hatred to be hissed at me, but nothing comes. Cash sits next to my bed on the floor with his head in his hands in silence.

“Are you not going to say something, shout at me, tell me how much you hate me?” I try and hold my tears back, and the never-ending ache in my chest stirs.

Cash peers up at me, eyes blood shot as a stray tear leaves his eyes. Seeing the pain on his face intensifies my pain, and more tears descend my face.

“I really am sorry, Cash,” I choke out. He shakes his head, pushes to his knees, and cups my cheeks between his hands. I close my eyes and lean into his hold, and my body relaxes. I open my eyes and his bore into mine, our pain mixing.

“This is not your fault, Rylee.” His brows draw together as his eyes darken. “None of this is your fault. It’s all him, and we will make him pay. I promise you.” He squeezes my face slightly as he places a kiss on my head and stays there for a moment. His kiss sends anger and sadness through me, but also butterflies in my stomach.

“You saved Jace. Don’t ever believe anything else,” he whispers as he slowly pulls away. “You promise me you will not blame yourself, Rylee?”

I nod. “I promise, Cash.” I say it to make him feel better because I know how much this must be killing him, but how can I not blame myself when James told me it was my fault? He told me he wanted me, so he had to get rid of Jace. No matter how fucked up the situation is and how fucked up James is, his decision boiled down to me.

“Go sleep, Rylee. We are going to the police station tomorrow. It’s going to be a long, emotional day telling them everything, so you’re going to need some strength.” He stands and walks toward the door.

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