Page 29 of Make Me Feel Again

“Shit, Toni.” I say dumbfounded.

“What? . . .What?” Her gaze sweeps me.

“I-I fucked Cash.” My hand goes to my mouth. Toni smiles at me.

“It’s about fucking time.” She huffs. “But girl, could you have not waited until tonight?”

I rear my head back. “Hold on a minute, what do you mean about fucking time, you were the one that said I needed time.”

“It’s been nearly three months, Ry. You have been doing good lately, you are slowly getting back on track with your life and you have just left Cash waiting, and that man has literally done just that, he’s waited for you. Fucking hell, he dropped everything and flew out to Mexico to make sure you were safe, and then you come home and tell him you need more time. You couldn’t have expected him to wait around forever.” She eyes me. Now making me feel like shit. She’s right, I just left him there dangling, not giving him anything. I nod.

“You’re right. Now I guess his reaction tonight is justified.” I squint, thinking. “Weirdly enough.”

“What actions?” Toni eyes me, eager as anything.

I let out a heavy sigh.

“Oh boy.” She smiles.

“I can’t tell you everything here.” I glance around, paranoid I just admitted that out loud. “Maybe you could stay with me tonight?” I eye her. She gives me a tight-lipped smile, then drops her bottom lip.

“You know what, yes, I will. Hold please.” She puts her finger up while digging out her phone.

“Hey.” I snatch the phone out of her hand. “If you had plans, don’t you dare cancel them.” I scowl at her.

“It’s only dick. You know you’re more important than any dick to enter my life.”

I shake my head. “No, you can come over tomorrow, and I’ll cook us dinner,” I say, holding her phone, waiting for her to agree with me.

“Okay, okay.” She puts her hand out for her phone.

“So who is the guy, then?”

“Just some guy from work. No one special,” she says, rolling her eyes. It never is with Toni. Whoever catches that girl’s eye for longer than twenty-four hours will be very special.

“I need you to give me one thing, this cannot wait until tomorrow.” She pauses, threading her arm through mine. “On a scale of one to ten, how Daddy was Cash.” I shake my head, laughing. Only this girl could ask such a question. “I will leave you alone once you answer me. Just give me something, because I have this image of how he would be, I want to know if he lives up to what I think.”

I laugh, only Toni could have an image of Cash having sex.

“Give me a number.” She demands.

I stop laughing and look at her, raising my eyebrows. “Let’s just say . . .” I stand closer to her and whisper, “I will think of him every time I sit down for the next week.” A high-pitched squeal comes out of her mouth, drawing attention from a few people standing close to us.

“Shut your mouth, Toni.” I keep glancing around, trying to smile it off like it’s nothing.

“I knew it. Damn, I fucking knew it. I can’t wait for the play-by-play.” I laugh at her once again.

“Can I get everyone’s attention please.” Bridget’s voice comes through the mic.

“C’mon,” I say to Toni. We make our way back into the middle of the room, and Cash is nowhere to be seen. Bridge is standing on stage with Boh behind her, smiling, but it’s not Boh’s normal smile. I mean, no one in this family is the same, but it’s only been the last couple of months that I’ve noticed Boh like this. His eyes scan the crowd, and when they land on someone, his jaw clenches and the small smile disappears. I lean up on my tiptoes to see who he is looking at—Cash. Maybe they had a falling out. I’ve seen them have the odd tiff with each other, so maybe they disagreed on something. Cash’s eyes squint, and then I glance back at Boh, who is back to smiling while looking at Bridget. I zoned out on what Bridge was saying.

“We have a total of thirty-four donations, and they are incredible, I can’t thank you all enough. As you all know, the charity we are supporting this year is Shine Bright, a young children’s cancer charity which provides clinical, financial, and emotional support for children and their families who are affected by cancer. This charity meant a lot to our Jace, so we wanted to do it again to honor him.”

My heart aches at hearing his name, but then I smile because it’s true; he loved this charity more than anything, and he would be beaming right now. Bridge finds me in the crowd, her eyes connecting with mine as I blow her a small kiss. She is an admirable woman, and I honestly don’t know where I would be without her. “Now let’s start the bidding.” It’s not something I’ve ever done because the men in this room are rich and the prices some of the gifts go for are insane, but I still like to see what’s up for grabs and just dream it could be me going on the luxury holiday or whatever it is.

“First up, we have a stunning weekend away on this luxurious yacht donated by Benny O’Donovan.” Everyone claps as a video on the projector plays, and to say that yacht is stunning is an understatement. It’s something you would see in the movies. Toni stands on her tiptoes while using my shoulder to support her.

“What are you trying to look at?” I bunch my eyebrows together while following her eyeline.

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