Page 12 of Make Me Feel Again

“Always the protector, that man.” Boh walks up to us with Bridge’s bags in tow. He bends down and kisses her on her head.

“Let’s get you both back,” Boh says as Bridge and I turn around and walk out of the airport while holding each other. I have no idea what I’m going to do with Cash. I can’t lose this family. Apart from a handful of friends, they’re all I have.

Chapter twelve

Cash

Theangerstillcoursesthrough my veins. After coming out of that police station, I’ve had pent-up rage I needed to release. The minute Rylee slammed the door so hard I’m surprised she didn’t crack the wood, I stripped off my suit and put my gym gear on and headed to my basement. For a solid hour, I beat the shit out of the punch bag while picturing that worthless piece of shit on there.

When Rylee spilled all to the cops, explaining everything he had said to her, the way he announced killing my son, like it was some joke, the way he claimed she was his, touching her without her permission, I saw red. If it wasn’t for the chief of police, I would have been arrested today and would have been useless to Rylee, but at the time, I wasn’t thinking straight. I smashed at least two of their computers in my blind rage. Luckily, the chief of police has had a soft spot for Bridge since we were kids, so I was let off with a warning. I haven’t raged like that since I was young and Jace was a kid, when our parents died.

Boh text me to tell me they are on their way back. I was hoping time on the bag would help, but it hasn’t. Every time I look at her, I feel sick to my stomach knowing she had to go through that and I couldn’t help her and be there for her. I couldn’t be there for my son.

Rylee is strong, and I know she will get through this, but I don’t know how I’m meant to let her get on with her life knowing he could take her at any moment. It’s not going to happen. Until he is found, she is staying here, and I don’t give a shit what she has to say. Over my dead body is he getting his hands on her again.

Boh and Bridge stayed for takeout, but I could barely stomach anything. Bridge asked a couple of questions regarding my mood, so I told her I was tired. Boh kept looking at me funny. I could tell earlier he was questioning things in his head with the way he was watching me outside the police station. I don’t care though. I’ll always protect the ones I love, and I failed this time. Miserably. I head into the kitchen to pour myself a whiskey, hoping it might take the edge off, and I’m taken back when I see Rylee standing in front of the fridge filling up her glass.

She looks at me over her shoulder. “I’m just getting some water, then I’ll be out of your hair,” she mutters.

I don’t reply, because what do I say to her. She sighs and then spins on her feet.

“No, actually I won’t get out of your hair, what is the fucking problem, Cash?” she spits, slamming the glass down on the counter, and I’m surprised it doesn’t shatter. “If you keep this up, you can bet your ass I’ll be out of here quicker than you can blink. I didn’t ask for this.” She points to the floor. “This is all you. You wanted me here, yet you treat me like I’ve done something wrong.”

Her voice cracks and makes me feel like the biggest piece of shit. “I’m sorry, okay, Cash. I’m sorry for what happened with James. I’m sorry you had to hear all that at the police station, and I’m sorry your son is dead because of me, but if you hate me for it, then you need to let me go because I can’t stay here knowing you’re angry with me.” What started off as anger, has now turned into pure torment. Her tears track down her cheeks, one after the other. I storm toward her and grab her by the back of neck.

“Listen here and listen good,” I say, inches from her face.

“It. is. Not. Your. Fault. Jace. Is. Dead.” My heart cracks open whenever I have to say my son’s name in the same sentence as the word dead. I will not have her beating herself up over this. “Do you hear me.” Her eyes flick between mine, tears welling. She looks so sad and defeated.

“Then please stop treating me like it is,” she whispers, with her gaze to the floor. Her words crack my heart. I was struggling to look at her after the station, but I never thought how me being cold toward her would make her feel like I blame her for Jace’s death.

I grab her chin. “Look at me, Rylee.” She is desperately trying to hold back her tears. “I’m sorry. It’s no excuse, but hearing what happened and then what Casey told me it sen—”

“What do you mean what Casey told you? Casey who?” The slight bite to her voice has me taken back.

“Did you not wonder how we found you?” It hasn’t been spoken about, but I wondered if she had questioned it. I told the police what Casey told me, and they said they would bring her in for questioning as well.

“I haven’t really had time to think, but who the fuck is Casey?”

“Wow, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? You have been acting funny with me since the station, making me feel like complete shit, and now you have been talking to someone named Casey about me. What the fuck?” I’m completely thrown by her reaction, and the way she blinks and opens and closes her mouth, I think she is as well.

“I-I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”

I nod. “Casey was James’s girlfriend, well, not girlfriend but—”

“Casey,” she whispers. She nods. “I remember her, I met her once when I was out with Toni. They were at the same place we were.”

I grimace. Casey told me James has logs of Rylee’s favorite places, and somehow always knew where she was going. I explained all this to the police. They checked Rylee’s phone while she was at the station, but nothing came back. When we went to collect her stuff, I grabbed her laptop, and Boh took it back to the station so they could check for tracking.

Her brows are drawn together. I know this will be hard for Rylee her to hear, but I have to tell her. “Let me pour you a glass of wine and we will talk, yes?” She nods and walks into the living room. I pour us both a glass of wine because I know this will be hard for me to tell her without losing my shit.

Chapter thirteen

Cash

Wesitnexttoeach other on the sofa. I pass Rylee the wine, which she takes a sip of straight away. I let my head loll back and look up at the ceiling. “I’m assuming Jace never told you why him and James stopped talking?” I keep my eyes to the ceiling. Maybe if I don’t make eye contact when I tell her, it might make it easier.

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