Page 60 of Make Me Feel Again

“That’s it. Can you hear me? Nod if you can.” Cash nods ever so gently, and in that moment, Bridge and Bohdi walk in and run to my side.

“Is he awake?” Bridge cries out, holding her hand to her mouth.

“He is Bridge. He’s awake.” I laugh and cry as Bridge pulls me in for a hug. We stand there holding each other as Bohdi stands next to Bridge, holding her shoulder and staring at Cash with hope in his eyes. It feels like the dark cloud that was over this room and over us is dissipating.

“Mr. Stiles, we are going to remove the tube from your mouth,” the nurse says. His body convulsing makes me and Bridge squeeze each other. My heart aches at seeing his weak body in discomfort and reacting like that. I hold my hand to my mouth to try and silence the cries. The minute the tube is out, a nurse places something in his mouth. They speak quietly to him and ask him to follow their finger as they move it across his face. We watch as they do checks and monitor the machines. After what feels like hours, which was probably only ten minutes, they all step away, and one glances at us. I don’t even wait for what she is about to say, as soon as I see Cash’s face, I jump forward.

“Cash,” I cry. His head moves to the side, and his eyes fill with tears when he sees me.

“Rylee,” he croaks out. I break down in tears next to him, pressing kisses to his cheek. His hands slide up my arms and move to my face. He stares at me, caressing my cheeks. Tears leak from both of our eyes. “You came back to me.” I sob, overwhelmed he’s awake. I cry and cry, as I’m leaned down with my head touching his.

“You need to be careful,” the nurse says to me. “No sudden movements.” I nod without looking at her. In this moment, I never want to let Cash out of my sight again. I want to be with him, every minute of every day. Cash doesn’t say anything, just keeps staring at me.

“Cash,” I say, a bit anxious since he isn’t saying anything.

“I thought—” He swallows, and then a hand comes up and places an ice chip in his mouth. I glance up as Bridget and Boh are standing on the other side of the bed watching us, but I don’t care. In this moment, I don’t care about anyone but Cash.

“I lost you.” He finishes, holding my face.

“You can’t lose me. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere,” I whisper as I let my lips meet his. The pressure from his lips has me crying against his. Having Cash here alive means everything in this moment.

“Cash,” Bridge whispers. I know I need to let him go, but I don’t want to. As I go to lean away, his hand reaches out and holds on to my arm.

“I’m staying right here, Cash.” I sit down in the chair pulled up to his bed and hold onto his hand as Bridge fusses over him. For once, he’s either in too much discomfort or he’s too tired to tell her to stop because I never in my life thought I’d see the day he lets his baby sister fuss over him. I take in the tears and the smiles. Boh’s face lights up as he speaks to his brother, as if he’s forgotten everything. It’s like an out-of-body experience. The family who has been broken more than anyone could imagine, is smiling, happy. I smile wide.

“Can we have a minute.” Cash’s voice is stronger now, but still croaky. Bridge nods and kisses Cash on his head. Boh nods and glances at me and then back at Cash again. His smile dropping from his face.

“Bohdi,” Bridge says. He takes one stern look at me and Cash before stalking away. The room falls silent as my eyes find Cash’s.

“Ry—”

“No. Please let me just say this.” I stand up and sit on the side of bed. Cash follows my every move. Watching me in anticipation, waiting to see what I will say. “These last three days have been absolute hell. When I thought—” I gulp, taking a deep breath. Even the thought of saying the words makes me nauseous. Cash touches my hand and links his fingers through mine. I hold onto his hand tightly. Even his touch takes the pain away and gives me the strength to carry on.

“When I thought you died. I begged him to shoot me, I begged him to kill me.” A stray tear streams down my face as I remember when Cash hit the floor. “It felt like my world had ended and I knew from that moment what you mean to me.” His eyes move between mine, a small smile gracing his lips. “When you crash and burn, Cash. I want you to take me with you. When your world stops spinning, I want mine to stop with it. When you break, let me break with you and when it’s time to build up those walls again, I want to be by your side building them up with you. I want to be with you at your lowest moments, not just your highest. When you hurt, I hurt. When you smile, I smile. We do this together. What I’m trying to say is—” I take a deep breath and smile. “I love you, Cash Stiles, and I’m so sorry it took me so long to say it. I fucking love you.” I laugh and cry as every single light turns back on in my world. Cash’s larger-than-life smile not only lights up this whole room but lights up my whole life.

“Come here.” I get as close as I can get, but then he winces, and I jump up. “Don’t you dare move away from me.” He grunts as he grabs my arm, pulling me closer. I sit beside him and lean down.

“Kiss me.” He smiles. I lean forward and kiss him, he opens his mouth for me as our tongues tangle, his soft lips brushing against mine. He breaks away.

“I love you, Rylee Matthews,” he whispers, and then I feel like my life has come back.

Chapter forty-eight

Rylee

One week later

Cashishomenow,although he’s meant to be on bed rest, I keep catching him walking around or trying to do things around his house. I’ve lost count of how many times I have had to walk him back to the bed. I can tell the way he keeps snapping that he hates me fussing over him. He had a serious operation and nearly fucking died, but he doesn’t think about that, he thinks of everyone else.

We had a call yesterday from the cop station. They are charging James on one count of murder for Casey, one count of manslaughter for Jace, attempted murder for shooting Cash, two counts of false imprisonment and carrying a firearm with to intent to kill. James won’t be seeing the light of day again and that makes us all breathe a little easier. A friend he had from high school was also charged with accessory to a murder, false imprisonment, and tampering with government data. He had James’s history wiped from the database so no one could link him back to Roxy. James covered every step he could think of. The private jet he had hired was also through the friend and was booked in his name. We were going to Mexico of all places. He had hacked my work computer and laptop. We hadn’t thought to send that in for checking as it didn’t even cross my mind, but it makes sense. I put all my appointments in there, as it’s linked with the calendar on my phone. James was always one step ahead because of it. It gives me the creeps knowing he was walking around in plain sight, watching me, waiting for a perfect moment. There will be trials in front of the judge for sentencing which won’t be for a while yet, but James’s bail got rejected, which we were thankful for.

Bohdi is coming over today to see Cash. Well, more watch him for me while I go back to my apartment and pack up the rest of my belongings with the moving van. Some people might say it’s too soon, but as soon as Cash was home, I knew I didn’t want to go bed or wake up again without seeing his face, and he didn’t want me out of his sight, so it was agreed I would move in. Bridge has been over the moon for us, Bohdi still hasn’t spoken to me all that much. He’s there to help Cash but is a lot snappier and barely smiles. I wanted to grab him today before I left to have it out with him once and for all; I can’t stand the silent treatment anymore.

I have been moving my clothes the last few days, Cash made some room in his closet for my clothes, but he asked Bridge to redesign his room to make it so we each have our own walk-in closet. He said we can knock one of the walls through to the next bedroom and use that for the space. Bridget has arranged for workers to come here next week to look at the walls and the frames to make sure it’s doable.

“Come lay with me.” I hear from behind me as I hang up the last top. I turn on my heels, smiling at Cash as I skip toward him, and lay next to him, running my fingers through his hair as he closes his eyes.

“How did I get so lucky to deserve you, Rylee.”

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