Page 57 of Make Me Feel Again

“Uh—hi,” I say, trying to flatten my hair to make myself look partly put together. The night we came into the hospital, these two men were here, waiting for me outside my room after getting my butterfly stitches on my face, but all I could think about was Cash. I couldn’t bear to think about talking to them or talking over what happened, but I know I can’t keep putting them off. I know I need to speak to them.

“We would really appreciate it if you could come down to the station so we can get everything you know.” I shake my head from side to side. “I’m not leaving this hospital. I will answer whatever you want to know, but it’s done in this room or nowhere at all. I’m not leaving his side.” I stand, pushing my shoulders back. DC Lowen glances sideways at his colleague and then at me and sharply nods.

“Okay. I will need you to start from the beginning. Please try and remember everything and don’t leave anything out.”

Three hours later, both detectives leave. I broke down a few times and had to stop when I had to recall everything that happened. Every interaction I could remember between James and me. They even questioned if I had ever given any false hope to him we could someday be something. I couldn’t believe that was even coming out of their mouths. They reiterated that they didn’t want to ask that, but they had to, and even if I had, none of this would have been my fault. I was crushed thinking back to all the times I had been nice to him, all the times I had even smiled at him. I had to explain what he told us about his mom. Everything that happened to him as a child. When they leave, Toni walks in, and at the moment, I’m crying so hard, I can barely breathe.

“Rylee.” Toni rushes to my side. “Talk to me. What did those detectives say to you? Do I need to file a report?” I shake my head.

“They—” I sniffle, trying to gather myself. Toni pulls tissue out of her pocket, wiping at my face and nose like I’m a child.

“Take your time, babe,” she says, her eyebrows drawn down.

“They wanted me to go over everything that happened,” I say, turning my gaze to Cash. “With James, every single encounter I could remember.”

She pulls me into her chest. “They spoke to me too.” She sighs.

I sit up. “What, why?” Then I remember Toni slept with James that night I met Jace. “Oh my God, Toni, I’m sorry. I forgot.” I watch her for any kind of reaction, but she is very tight on her emotions and doesn’t always let them out.

“Are you okay?”

She looks at me, raising one eyebrow. “You are asking if I’m okay after everything you have been through?”

“Regardless of what I’ve been through, you still have every right to be feel sad and angry, and I’ll always be here for you, no matter what is going on.” It’s me who pulls her in for a hug this time. She says nothing but lets me hold her.

“What’s happening to him?”

“Well, he’s been arrested. Was in hospital for a day. Apparently, some badass girl knocked him out, so he had to have stiches.” She shakes with a laugh. “I wanted to do so much more, Ry. Believe me.”

I sit up, realizing I hadn’t even thought of this before. “Hold on. How did you find me? Actually, how did Cash find me?”

She glances at Cash and then back at me. She picks up my hand, playing with the bracelet Cash gave me for my birthday. “With this,” she says, spinning it around on my wrist.

“What? What do you mean? It’s a bracelet.”

She nods. “It is, but it’s also a tracker.”

I gawk at her like she grew two heads. “Wh-what do you mean a tracker?”

“Cash told me about it before he had the bracelet made. He was worried about you. You were adamant that you go on with your life, and the only way Cash could rest even slightly was to know where you were when you weren’t with him and not in the controlling way, in a way to know you’re safe.” She smiles.

“He really does love you, Rylee.” Tears glisten her eyes as she pulls me back in for a hug. I nod, playing with the bracelet, thankful for how much he worried about me.

“I know, and I love him more than anything.” I silently cry into her chest. We both put our feet up on the side of Cash’s bed, lying there watching Cash’s chest move up and down. I then remember something.

“Ton,” I say, still with my head on her chest.

“Hmmm?” She brings her hand up to stroke my hair.

“Are you okay?” I lean away from her, bringing myself to sit up next to her and take her hand in mine. “Because I don’t think you are.” Her gaze connects with mine. She looks tired, fed up, sad, and her spark has gone.

“I’m not, but I will be.” She smiles. “I don’t want to talk about it at the moment, but I promise you when I’m ready, you will be the first person I come to.” She squeezes my hand, and I have to accept her answer, even if I don’t want to.

“I love you, Ton.” I lean forward, placing a kiss on her cheek. “Have a kiss,” I whisper.

“To make it all better,” she whispers and smiles as I lean into her, and we hold each other.

Chapter forty-six

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