Page 41 of Dirty Tricks

There’s a hesitant twist to his lips, which relaxes as I say, “Guess he deserved it.”

“Guess he did.”

I point upwards, not needing another commentary from our only living passenger. Xander nods and makes the turn, taking up farther into the hills.

“You’re going the wrong way, dipshit.”

I had been going to wait until we found a suitable resting place for the bodies, but Finn’s voice is like fingernails on a blackboard. I aim the gun, warning Xander, “This might be loud.”

The gunshot to Finn’s head is indeed loud. It’s also immensely satisfying.

A career trajectory briefly dances through my head. Assassin for hire. I could be the nextVillanelle.

But the mess and the stench of the gun and the glut of blood and Finn’s bowels releasing in his death throes, sway me in the opposite direction.

“We can probably stop anywhere along here,” I say when we’re high above the city, winding away from the bright lights to the shadowy side of the Port Hills.

Xander pulls to the side of the road, barely more than gravel on clay at this point. “Are you sure you don’t want to make one more stop before we get started?”

I stare into the eyes of the boy I love and see his kindness, his thoughtfulness in this gesture the same as I do in every other action he takes.

When I don’t answer, when I can’t get my mouth to answer, he gently suggests, “Your daddy?”

The old shame surges out of nowhere. My equilibrium destroyed. And I could ask him a hundred questions but the one I settle for is, “How did you know?”

His hands fall to the base of the steering wheel as his kind eyes search my face, testing to see how much truth I can handle.

And he must decide I can handle all of it. That any truth he delivers is better than the truth I had to live.

“On your first night at school, I was in your bedroom. I needed to get into the school after hours and there’s a manhole from the crawlspace, right under your bed.”

His face gently flushes, showing there might still be some secrets he’s keeping to himself. I think of all the nights I’ve lain awake, listening to the fans, thinking how they sound like someone breathing.

A strange calm falls over me. A sense of peace that those nights I might have been listening to Xander instead.

“Was I in the bathroom?”

He shifts in his seat, eyes briefly breaking from mine. Colour gives him a flush of good health as he forces his gaze back level. “You were sleepwalking.”

I open my mouth to say that I haven’t done that for years, then close it again because obviously I have. I wrinkle my nose. “Was I babbling?”

“You don’t babble.” He sounds so offended, I smile. “I needed to leave, and you were in front of the door. I was going to lift you out of the way, then…” He trails off and spends a few seconds making swallowing look like the hardest thing in the world. “You gave me a blowjob.”

A snort of laughter bursts from me and I hug myself in surprise. “Sure. A likely story.”

“You did!”

I roll my eyes, believing him even as I find the entire story unbelievable.

“When you finished, you said—”

“Wait.” I hold up my hand, struggling to hold back laughter. “When Ifinished?Are you saying you came in my mouth on our first acquaintance?”

His expression tells me he’d rather be in a million different conversations than this one. “Sorry.”

“Your apology is accepted,” I joke, then frown at his continuing discomfort. “There’s probably a compliment in there, somewhere.”

“Yeah,” he says softly. “You deserve all the compliments.”

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