Page 15 of Dirty Tricks

Loose and screaming in my head.

I tear off the bunny costume with shaking hands, gasping in shallow breaths as I toss aside the beautifully soft angora jumper. The jumper which is just a trick to make me accept the rest of the outfit, and the outfit is nothing more than a vehicle for my degradation.

This is my first Halloween party. With my father’s voice still rumbling in my ears, it’ll also be my last.

I’m not going to attend wearing a costume I didn’t pick for myself. If this is my last night of freedom, the least I owe myself is to dress how I want.

My heart thumps, too fast, too strong, as I slip into the black blazer, the blue and black kilt I bought months ago, quickly braiding my dark hair into two long plaits. My light makeup gets rubbed away and I go to town with the mascara and eyeliner, turning my blue eyes navy as I surround them with darkness.

Much better.

In the corridor, I duck my head as I pass the other students, only brightening when I reach the common room and see Jenna and Vonnie waiting.

“You look fantastic,” I say, tapping the wide brim of Vonnie’s witch hat and admiring the far less sturdy halo topping Jenna’s costume from afar.

“No bunny?” Jenna asks. “How did you talk Finn around to that?”

I shrug, trying not to let the words penetrate my bubble of happiness. “This suits me better,” is all I say before launching into enthusiastic applause as another student walks in, dressed as a crime-fighting bat.

Soon the buses pull up outside, ready to drive the twenty minutes to the old Christchurch showgrounds. We assemble near them, presenting our tickets to get on board.

Half the students opt for their own transport, so it’s no trouble for our trio to sit together. We get the one-minute warning at the same time I receive a text from Finn.

“I’ll be along later. Have fun.”

My eyes widen. It’s the least Finn-sounding text he’s ever sent me. A bloom of hope settles in my chest. Perhaps I’ve been misreading his signals. Tonight, could truly be fun.

“Looks like Todd’s catching a ride with Marty later,” Jenna says, getting her own text. “Can’t say I mind making it a girls’ night.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Vonnie sneaks a hip flask from a hidden pocket in her outfit and takes a swig before pressing it into my hands.

I don’t usually drink, and my stomach’s been tender all day, worrying about the costume Finn bought me, so I haven’t eaten. It’ll go straight to my head.

With a grin that feels completely out of character, I take two pulls at the flask before passing it along to Jenna. The vodka burns a line down the back of my throat that turns to a warm buzz.

“This is going to be the best night ever,” I declare, stomping my heavy black boots for emphasis. “I’m gonna take pictures until I run out of memory.”

“I heard they’ve got themed displays this year,” Jenna says, passing the flask back to Vonnie, who tucks it away for later. “We should look around while everyone else makes a beeline for the DJ and bar. Claim a spot where we can have our own private party.”

“Sounds great.” And it does. My excitement is building again, clambering past the knockbacks and returning even more amped for the night. “I’m glad I didn’t wear heels because I’m going to dance until I drop.”

Jenna makes a scoffing sound. “Good luck dragging Finn onto the dance floor.”

“If he can’t be bothered to turn up on time, then he doesn’t get to veto my plans,” I declare.

The vodka works in my bloodstream, mixing with the heavy dose of freedom from knowing my new life ends tomorrow.

I feel reckless.

I feel wild.

“And I don’t need a partner to dance with. Unless one of you lovely ladies wants to volunteer.”

“Me,” Vonnie says, raising her broom and cackling. “We can sweep the competition away.”

The joke doesn’t warrant my gusts of laughter but neither seems to mind as I collapse into giggles.

My euphoria grows as the bus turns into the grounds, and we walk into the decorated event hall. There are numerous spaces for people to carve off the main crowd and hold a private party. We follow Jenna’s advice and look through each display on offer while the rest of the partygoers gather in the centre of the marquee, a massive, echoey space that reminds me of an airport hangar but apparently is an indoor arena for the horsey crowd.

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