Page 8 of Bigfoot's Wife

"What now?" my sister's exasperated voice crackles through the speaker.

"Hey, sis," I say, trying to sound casual. "So, about the boys?—”

"Oh no," she groans. "What did they do?"

"Nothing! I was just thinking...maybe I could pick them up after school?"

There's a long pause. "Who are you and what have you done with my brother?"

I laugh nervously. "Can't a guy just want to spend time with his favorite nephews?"

"Uh-huh," Braith's voice drips with suspicion. "That’s not it. What gives, bro?”

"Come on, Braith," I plead. "Help a brother out."

“I don’t know…” She hesitates and I know my sister. She’s trying to get at the truth. “Wait a minute. This has to have something to do with the human, Bambi. So what is it? Does she work at the school now or something?”

Busted. "What? Pffft. No.”

"Olwydd..." She coaxes.

“Maybe. Okay, yes. I'll owe you one."

"Oh no, little brother. You'll owe me way more than one."

I groan. "Name your price."

"Let's see," she muses. "Amlawdd and I could use some alone time without the kids for once. You can pick up the boys if you also help with homework, make them dinner, and clean up afterward."

"Done!” I don’t even have to think about it. At this point, I’d probably agree to scrubbing her toilets for a month, anything to get closer to Bambi.

Braith chuckles. "Alright, it's a deal. But Olwydd? Be careful. She's human. If she decides to stay, she gives up everything. If she leaves, you could lose everything.”

I nod, even though she can't see me. "I know, sis. Trust me, I know."

“Okay, see you tonight then—latetonight. Oh and Olwydd...” I can hear the smirk through the phone line. “It’s a pleasure doing business with you, brother.”

Hmph. I deserve that.

As I hang up, my eyes drift back to the monitors. Nothing but trees and wildlife.

I lean back in my chair, a wide grin on my face as I entertain thoughts of my beautiful Bambi and about picking up the boys later.

I can’t help myself, I log into my personal laptop and open the file I’ve looked at probably a hundred times in the past few days.

When the human women first arrived, I did a favor for Gruffydd and some of the other Squatches and dug up everything I could find on the specific human woman each was interested in.

The algorithm we used to find potential human mates employed a very intricate and complex set of criteria.

Of course, we couldn’t know absolutes beforehand. The algorithm was based on probabilities. For instance, the probability that they were single, of child bearing age, heterosexual, and open to a monogamous relationship—with an entirely different species. But equally important was the probability that they’d agree to remain in Grotto indefinitely.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what that means.

It means that, for whatever reason, each human woman here in Grotto was having difficulty thriving topside in their human world. Kiki, for instance, was in a witness protection program and had some very dangerous men scouring the country for her.

For Bambi, my sweet Bambi… I click through the file I dug up on her and, as usual, it sparks a seething fury beneath my skin. The horrible things that were said about her in the magazines, newspapers, and news programs. The more I dig, the clearer it becomes that she was used, toyed with, victimized. As happens every time I view it, I feel a strong desire to right a few wrongs but even more so is my desire to wrap my arms around her. To comfort and protect her.

The rest of my shift creeps by in a blur of daydreams about my sexy human teacher. Okay, she’s not mine. Yet. But she will be.

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