Page 10 of Bigfoot's Wife

"Don't get too excited," I warn. "We've got homework to do."

Their collective groan echoes through the cave.

"Come on, it won't be that bad," I assure them, with more confidence than I feel. "I'll help you get started."

Osian eyes me skeptically. "No offense, Uncle Olwydd, but didn't Mom say you almost failed math?"

I puff out my chest. "That was then, this is now. I'll have you know, I'm great at math. Why, just the other day, I calculated the exact trajectory needed to throw a paper airplane across the control center and hit Taredd in the back of the head.”

The boys exchange dubious looks.

"Alright, alright," I concede. "Maybe math isn't my strong suit. But hey, I didn't do well in school, and look how awesome I turned out.”

"Mom says you're a cautionary tale," Elis pipes up helpfully.

I clutch my chest in mock pain. "Et tu, Elis? You wound me, nephew."

We settle around the kitchen table, books, papers, and laptops spread out before us.

How hard can it be, right? I'm a grown Squatch. I've got this.

"Okay, team," I clap my hands together. "Let's show this homework who's boss.”

CHAPTER 5

BAMBI

“There you guys are. I’ve been looking all over for you. We need to decide on a morning coffee meet-up spot and stick to it.” Deborah takes a seat next to me cradling her steaming mug like it's the Holy Grail. “Where’s Octavia? Missing again?”

I take a sip from my own mug, savoring the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee before I answer. “She was up and out the door early this morning. Said something about helping out the housekeeping staff.”

“Again?” Kiki shakes her head. “What is she, some OCD neat freak or something? Why is she always volunteering to help? Yesterday she worked in the kitchen from sunup to sundown.”

“No clue.” I shrug. “I really hope she’s using that excuse as a cover for some clandestine rendezvous with a hot Sasquatch, though.”

As usual, Steph just looks away. I've noticed Steph is uncharacteristically avoidant whenever Octavia is brought up. I’m not sure she realizes her behavior is so obvious.

“You know, Deborah, I think you’re on to something.” Kiki’s eyes widen and she straightens. "We need our own coffee spot. Like a Grotto Starbucks."

“Exactly!” Deborah's eyes light up. “We should find ourselves an empty cave and turn it into a cozy little coffee nook. Frank didn’t put a limit on our budget, so unless he does, maybe we could get some top of the line equipment and do it up."

As the others chatter excitedly about flavored syrups and bean grinders, my mind wanders. Sure, an underground, limestone Starbucks sounds great, but there's a ticking clock hanging over all of this. In less than a month, we'll have to decide: stay in Grotto or return to the human world, memories wiped clean.

I steal a glance at Kiki, who's gesturing animatedly about proper espresso extraction. She's already made her choice. Kiki has committed to a life with Gruffydd. How did she know it was right?

"Hey, Kiki," I begin, aiming for casual and nonchalant, "can I ask you something?"

She turns to me, eyebrow raised. "Sure. What's up?"

I fidget with my mug, suddenly feeling like I'm back in high school asking for advice about boys. "How did you... I mean, what made you decide to stay? With Gruffydd, I mean."

Kiki's face softens, a dreamy look clouding her eyes. "Oh, honey. The Sasquatches, they're something else. Noble, honorable... Gruffydd treats me like a queen. And holy hell is he hot in bed. Sasquatch sex is out of this world, I’m tellin’ ya.”

My heart does a little flip thinking about Sasquatch sex.

Kiki leans in conspiratorially. “But maybe you already know that. Have you and Olwydd?—”

"What? No!" I blurt out, probably a bit too forcefully.

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