Page 85 of Rule Breaker

“I’m bi. And do I have to tell you guys everything? I just started to realize it myself, I haven’t even come to terms with it yet—” I shook my head. “Please, can we change the subject?”

I poked at my mashed potatoes and forced myself to take a bite. It was great, but my appetite was off. Suddenly, I was in the sin bin and everyone around me was staring like I’d let them down.

“You know we love you no matter what. And if you’re bi, well, then, that’s who you are,” Mom announced. “It’s the teammatesituation your dad is concerned about. Plus, the professional hockey world isn’t exactly a hallmark of queer acceptance.”

“Like I said, there’s nothing to talk about,” I repeated. “It’s over.”

Rory, who was the youngest—and quietest—brother, spoke up. “Maybe we can set you up while you’re here for the weekend? My friend Geoff is gay and single.”

Maddox was right to turn down my offer to come home with me.

“No one’s setting me up, and no one’s asking me any more questions,” I stated. “Now please, pass the gravy.”

“I found him!” Reena announced loudly. “It’s Maddox Rocher, right?”

“What? Where?” I asked.

“School socials. They posted pics from the last game. Let’s see…he’s a goalie from Canada,” Reena announced as she tapped her phone. “Ooh, there’s one photo here with his mask off. He’s gorgeous.”

Fuck, did I know it.

“Let’s see,” Nina asked, and Reena passed over her phone.

Then it was on to the next family member and the phone did the whole tour of the table. Holy shit, my family was wild.

“He’s got quite the scowl on him,” Nina commented. “Is he always like that?”

I nodded, stuffing in a forkful of turkey so I wouldn’t start gushing like the fool I was. Scowl or not—or maybe because of it—Maddox always had my attention. And when one of his rare smiles appeared, any hint of one, I ached with a sweet kind of intensity that I’d never experienced for anyone. His grin totally wrecked me. It made me feel like I’d won the damn lottery. Who was I kidding? His pout did the same thing. Because I knew that there was so much more to him than angry glares and sharp words. He’d researched the best reading apps for my dyslexiaand helped me break down the concepts I struggled with. He bought me that journal. And he was surprisingly protective. Like that time on the bus when he told Axel off.

Then there was the way he kissed me, touched me. Like he couldn’t get enough. I guess now he had. Christ, I was gone for him. And I was dreading my return to school. I had to act like we were strangers again. How was I going to do that?

I put my fork down and my gaze locked on the bracelet on my wrist. I wondered if Maddox had thrown his away. He’d been wearing it ever since I gave it to him, but probably not anymore. And why did that make me feel even worse? My stomach clenched tight. No way was I going to be able to finish my meal.

“So, what happened, Kay? Why’d you break up?” Nina demanded.

“We weren’t really together, so there’s no breakup,” I muttered.

Sure as hell felt like it, though. They might as well hear the whole pathetic thing.

“I invited him here for Christmas,” I confessed. “He freaked out. And that was that.”

“He doesn’t have any family of his own?” Mom asked.

“Nope. His mom passed away when he was thirteen. And his dad’s gone too. There’s something really bad there that he won’t talk about.”

That comment was met with awkward silence. Man, I sure knew how to get a party going.

“I think we’ve had enough of this conversation,” Dad announced and pointed at my sisters. “No more questions. Leave Kayden alone.”

I was grateful. But also, annoyed? My dad glanced at me and gave me ‘the look.’ The one that said after dinner, he and my mom were going to sit down with me for a long talk. I already knew what was coming.

Don’t fuck up your hockey dreams. Maddox sounds like trouble. Stay away.

Everyone began eating again. I sipped on my Diet Coke and ignored the food and the talk around me. Then my thoughts wandered back to my obsession. Was Maddox alone? Probably. That made the ache in my chest worse. My hand itched to pick up my phone and text him, but I held back.

Being silent had never felt so wrong.

CHAPTER 31

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