Page 176 of Lady of Starfire

Pinching the mugweed between his thumb and forefinger, he held it above his head in offering. A moment later, footsteps sounded before Cassius was taking it from his hand.

Cyrus shuffled down the sofa, making room, and Cass took a seat, blowing smoke into the darkening night.

“I’m sorry, Cyrus,” he said after a moment. “I did not intend to keep it from you.”

Cyrus nodded, taking a drink.

“I did know my power wasn’t refilling as much as it should, but I didn’t realize…” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and arms crossed, mugweed still pinched in his fingers. “Tybalt came to me this morning because if I ask you for more, if I start drinking more each day, I’m slipping into dangerous territory. Night Child kind of stuff.”

Cyrus reached for the mugweed, taking another drag. “You need a Source.”

“Yeah, Cyrus. I need a Source.”

“Glad you finally figured that out.”

They sat in silence. Cyrus didn’t care. He was more relaxed than he’d been in weeks. They could sit and stare at the sky all fucking night for all he cared.

Finally, Cass said, “That’s all you’re going to say?”

Cyrus shrugged. “Not sure what you want me to say.”

“Something. Anything.”

He took another drag. “Neve is really the only option now, isn’t she?”

“Neve,” Cassius repeated.

Cyrus tipped his head back, exhaling the smoke. “Eliza is tied to Razik. Sawyer is… Unless you want to track down Luan when we get to the continent? Briar will literally drown you if you ask Ashtine, and Briar is about to be a father.”

When Cassius didn’t say anything, he went on. “Neve is not as powerful as the others, but she is probably a good choice. She won’t want anything physical, even if the bond pushes for it. She prefers females.” He tossed the last of the mugweed roll to the ground before he incinerated it. “You should probably figure it out before we go to the continent, though.”

Cyrus moved to rise from the sofa, but a hand on his shoulder kept him seated.

“We’re not done talking about this.”

“I told you my thoughts. This is your decision, Cass,” Cyrus said, shrugging his hand off his shoulder. “If you don’t want any of them—”

“I don’t.”

“Then there are some Fae on the continent, but they’ll be hard to track down right now with everything going on. I can get a list written up though. Get Sorin’s thoughts, too, before you decide who to ask.”

“And if I ask you?” Cassius asked in a low rumble.

Cyrus flexed his fingers on the glass he still held.

He’d thought about this. All day. Talked about it with Sorin. Tried to sort through his thoughts.

His eyes were fixed on his glass when he said, “Maybe you’ve been right all along, Cass. Maybe it shouldn’t be me.”

He couldn’t look at him. But this topic had been a source of contention between them since they’d come to Avonleya. They’d argued about this more than anything else. They’d had godsdamn fights over this. Maybe if it was taken out of play…

“Are you saying you will be fine if I create this bond with someone else?” Cass finally asked.

No. He hated the idea, but he’d failed so many others. Merrik. Thia. He could spare Cassius from that.

“Because I’m not fine with it,” Cass said when Cyrus didn’t answer. “Look me in the eye and tell me you’ll be perfectly fine if I take another Source.”

“Of course I will not like it,” Cyrus snapped, shooting to his feet. “But this isn’t about me. It’s about you, and what’s best for you.”

---