Page 101 of Ruthless Heir

“Go, have fun. I'll catch up with you later.”

“Sure,” she says, then saunters away.

I stare after her like always, feeling like the coward and the fool again. Two things that are naturally against my character.

This is supposed to be the right decision. If I stay away from Harper things remain the same. She’ll be free to be with someone more deserving of her and things remain cool between Josh and me.

So why the fuck do I feel like shit?

Why do I feel like everything is wrong?

Why does she still feel like mine when I keep letting her go?

This girl has always screwed with my head so I don’t know right from wrong when I need it most. But right now Iknowthis doesn’t feel right.

The feeling becomes more evident as the night wears on.

And the worst thing is her kisses don’t feel like they did the other night.

Every time I kiss her I can’t feel her anywhere. I find myself kissing her when I’m not supposed to, just to check. Every time I come up short and it’s like I’m kissing an empty shell.

Like the Harper I want isn’t there anymore. Each kiss is as empty as a void and fake.

As fake as our relationship is supposed to be.

Chapter Twenty-One

Harper

The scent of jasmine and freesia soothes me as I stare at the sandstone walls of the relaxation room.

I’m at the Rockwood spa in the Hamptons with Layla. I’m dressed in a fluffy white robe, curled up on the sofa, waiting for Layla to finish her hot stone body massage.

The spa was Layla’s idea of a Monday morning huddle. Because I’ve been feeling so low and drained I didn’t question it or ask whether Asher was really okay with us heading to the spa when we’re supposed to be at work. Especially when I know he probably isn’t.

Being here amongst the calming floral scent and peaceful ambience has been the only thing to calm me in days.

Nearly three weeks have passed since I agreed to this fake dating arrangement between Asher and me. The time has flown by but each day has been hell for me.

Every time we launch into our act I feel like I’ve stepped out of my body and slipped into someone else’s shoes. Then whenwe’re not acting things feel strange. Like the real world is the fake world.

Every time Asher kisses me I struggle to protect my heart.

At home, when we’re are alone and we don’t need to pretend, I keep expecting him to kiss me or hold me the way he does when we’re around his family.

When he puts up that wall between us we become two passing ships in the night. Little more than strangers. It jars me.

Sometimes I counteract it by staying with Beth. But that has its own problems.

Beth's place tends to be okay for a night or two. No more than that. There was a reason Josh asked Asher if I could stay with him and not Beth.

As much as I love being with her I can't stand the guys she associates with. Years ago I tolerated it but now many of them remind me of Nick.

There's nothing wrong with liking a guy who has a wild streak but there's wild and then there is evil. Nick was the latter.

Being around guys like him made me feel like I was constantly sitting on the edge of my seat in a horror movie. But at times being around Asher was so much worse, thanks to my new crisis. Which I totally blame myself for.

Not only have I agreed to pose as a fake girlfriend for a man I’ve been in love with my whole life, but having him confirm that I’m simply standing in for the real thing has made me feel more foolish than ever.

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