Page 26 of All the Dangerous Things

I did as the woman requested and saw she had an expression on her face that was like a knife to my gut. I didn’t want nor need anyone to feel sorry for me.

Amara had such a soft and sweet demeanor. I could see why Nikolai loved her so much. I hoped Dmitry would find that someday soon.

Nikolai was a wild card. A stick of dynamite with barely a fuse. He was certifiably insane. A sociopath. But somehow, this woman had made him… love.

“How are you doing, Tatiana?” Amara asked gently, her voice a soothing balm that helped smooth out the frayed emotions coursing through me.

She moved to sit on the edge of my bed and watched me silently.

I managed a weak smile, actually grateful for her presence, because I felt her calmnesswash over me. “I’m fine… despite my appearance and the fact that I’m crying like I can’t control myself.” I brushed away the wetness on my cheeks. “My brothers make me so angry. They are so?—”

“Demanding and hardheaded,” Amara inserted with a small smile of her own. She snorted. “To say the least.”

I chuckled softly.

And then we sobered as I felt the conversation shift to what she really wanted to talk about.

“We've been so worried about you,” she confessed, her tone filled with empathy. “When we heard what happened….” She glanced down at her hands, which she had twined together in her lap.

I too looked down at my hands, unable to meet her eye as I thought about last week. The memories were raw and scary and painful.

“It's okay,” she added softly. “You don't have to say anything until you're ready. I just wanted to be here with you and to let you know you're not alone.” She glanced at the door. “And to get the source of your current irritation away for a moment to give you breathing room.”

I exhaled and said, “I’m sure they are right outside the door, huffing and puffing like a couple of penned-up bulls.”

Both of us started chuckling.

“How is Luca?” I asked Amara. I missed my nephew, but I was glad she’d kept him away. The last thing I’d ever want was for that adorable little boy to be in the middle of this family warzone. The negative energy would have been too dark for his sweet, innocent soul.

Amara’s smile lit up as she thought about her precious son. “He’s wonderful. Rowdy and already causing issues?—”

“Just like his father,” I cut in this time, and we laughed.

I knew I couldn't stall any longer in talking about my issues, so I decided to just get this shit over with. I took a deep breath, the knot in my chest loosening just a fraction. I knew they meant well, that they were here out of love and concern.

But the words, the act of recounting the nightmare out loud, felt like I would be reliving it. And I hadn’t realized until that moment that… thinking about it scared the fuck out of me more than anything else.

“We want to help,” Amara whispered, her voice breaking slightly. “But we need to know what happened, so we canfigure out how.”

I nodded slowly, lifting my gaze to my sister-in-law. I swallowed hard, preparing myself to do this.

Amara placed her hand on mine. Her support moved through me.

The room suddenly felt charged with a tense anticipation of the words about to spew from my mouth.

“I was stupid as hell.” I covered my face with my hands and shook my head. “I went to one of those underground fights at the old slaughterhouse.” The silence felt even thicker, and I dropped my hands to look at her and see the judgment in her eyes.

But there was none.

So I took a big breath and just exposed my truth and bared my heart.

I talked about watching the fight, seeing a tattooed fighter destroy his opponent. I told her about the asshole who grabbed me, how I tried to leave, but then found myself assaulted in the empty storage room before I could.

And then I explained in grisly details about being choked, knowing that I was about to die, and wishing I made better decisions and listened to my brothers.

Because they never wanted me there. They only wanted to protect me.

Amara said nothing as I confessed it all and felt vulnerable doing so. She listened intently, her gaze never leaving my face.

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