Page 21 of All the Dangerous Things

And I wouldn’t.

I just gave another nod because I wasn’t stupid. I knew Gio probably had someone look at my injuries from the fact that I had an IV in my arm when Iwoke up. But even though I felt mostly okay—sore as fuck, but alive—I wasn’t senseless enough to think I shouldn’t be seen by my brothers’ doctor.

Dmitry and Nikolai shared a look, one that was this silent communication I’d never understood. And then Dmitry grabbed his cell out of his pocket and opened the front door to run his quick errand.

I stood there in silence as Sasha kept nudging me and felt the heavy weight of Nikolai’s lethal stare on me.

I hadn’t felt so… helpless since my father had been murdered.

Good riddance to that piece of shit. I hope he’s burning over and over again in the fiery pits of hell.

“I’m going to shower and then lie down.”

Nikolai said nothing in response, but I knew he was still looking at me. I felt his gaze like a hot poker branding my face.

Plus, asking them to leave for the night wouldn’t have done any good. When my brothers decided on something, nothing could make them deviate from their paths.

So I didn’t say another word and headed to my room, locked myself and Sasha in, leaned against the door, and just… breathed.

I gathered my conviction and pushed away fromthe door, grabbed a change of clothes, and went to the bathroom.

Sasha was insistent on coming in with me, and when I shut the bathroom door, she laid down in front of it with a heavy huff.

I turned on the faucet and let it get scalding hot. Steam filled the room in a matter of minutes. I stripped and slowly sank into the tub with a heavy sigh of my own. Sasha huffed out again, and I glanced over at her.

“It was one of those nights for me too, girl.” I peered up at the bathroom vanity and the large mirror above it, having purposely not looked at my reflection when I passed it on my way to the tub. I was afraid to see what I looked like… what my own stupidity did to me.

Don’t you dare blame yourself.

Maybe I shouldn’t have gone to the fight. But it wasn’t my fault this shit happened. It wasnotmy fault I got hurt, and the world now had one less motherfucker to worry about.

I sank lower in the tub, a painful tightness in my arms and legs setting in as soon as I was submerged. But it felt good. I liked that flash of discomfort telling me I was alive. I was safe.

As much as I didn’t want to replay the previousnight’s events, they ran through my mind like a movie reel.

The hand on my throat getting tighter and tighter.

The feeling of the air getting pulled from my lungs.

That darkness creeping in….

I sat up with a gasp, this time welcoming the pain the deep breath caused, and scrubbed my body, my flesh burning the harder I ran the loofah over my arms and legs. I took a washrag next and scrubbed my face and neck, gasping quietly, as the pain was intense, but I couldn't stop.

Eventually, when I couldn’t take any more, and too weak to continue if I could’ve, I pulled the plug, got out, wrapped a towel around my body, and then faced the foggy mirror. My hand was shaking as I ran my palm over the glass, smearing the condensation so I could see the blurry visage of myself.

My reflection wasn’t clear, but the longer I stood there and the tub emptied, the more the steam dissipated and the room cleared, showing me the monster I appeared to be.

What my brothers had seen.

And what caused a full-on sociopath to feel—and evenlook—worried.

A hard gasp left me as I took in my eyes, the broken vessels looking like someone splattered blood across the whites. My left was worse than my right, and I ran a finger gently along my cheekbone.

I blinked tears away.

My face and upper chest had small red and purple dots covering it, almost like grisly little freckles. And my throat? God. My throat was also red and purple and would no doubt get darker with each passing hour. I ran my fingers along the large, very clear, bluish thumbprint on the right side of my throat, right over my pulse point.

Other fingerprint-sized bruises littered the left side of my throat, and a choked sound escaped me. I was sore, swollen and tender, and… I was fucking pissed. I clenched my teeth and exhaled, my breath coming out as this weird rattling noise.

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