Page 97 of Offside Bride

“Home with the rugrats,” Jessica sighs. “The babysitter came down with something. Mike drew the short straw.”

“I hope he’s watching at home,” I say even though I find it highly unlikely. With four kids under five years old, he’s in for a rough night.

Maggie and I just have the one, who’s upstairs with the au pair, probably being a complete menace. She’s a handful, just like her mother, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting more. Infact, I plan on rectifying that very soon. I wonder how fast I can get these people out of my house when the movie’s over.

I settle on the sofa with Maggie when my phone buzzes. Siobhan’s face pops up on the screen.

“Hold up, everyone! It’s the world traveler calling in,” I announce, answering the phone.

“Hey, sis! Shouldn’t you be asleep? It’s the middle of the night there.”

“Who needs sleep when your sister-in-law’s movie is premiering?” Siobhan’s voice crackles from the international call. “Put me on speakerphone!”

I oblige, and Maggie leans in close. “Siobhan! You didn’t have to stay up for this!”

“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Well, I mean, I am missing it because Greece doesn’t get the Yuletide Channel, but you know what I mean.”

Siobhan’s a regular globetrotter these days, ever since she went on her own wild adventures, cracking codes while single-handedly ending mafia wars. The string of numbers Otto wouldn’t shut up about was just the beginning. But that’s another story for another day.

“Ho ho ho, Merry Sandwich!” Otto squawks from his perch, startling Jessica so badly she nearly upends her cocoa.

Siobhan laughs. “Is that Otto? I miss that bird.”

“Trust me, you don’t,” I mutter, earning a playful swat from Maggie.

“Don’t mind Otto,” Maggie laughs. “He’s feeling festive.”

As if on cue, Otto belts out, “Crack the balls, fa la la la la!”

“Maggie’s been teaching him Christmas carols,” I say. “It’s…a work in progress.”

Maggie beams, leaning close to the phone. “So…spill the tea, Siobhan! How’s Greece?”

“Absolutely magical,” Siobhan says airily. “Sun, sand, and way too many shots of ouzo. I’ll tell you all about it when we come to visit for New Year’s. But enough about me. Maggie, I’m so proud of you! Your first movie premier. That’s huge!”

Maggie blushes, and I plant a kiss on her cheek. “Thanks, Siobhan. I still can’t believe it’s happening.”

“Give me some eggnog!” Otto demands.

Maggie giggles. “No eggnog for you, mister. Remember what happened last year?”

I groan at the memory. “I’m still finding tinsel in weird places.”

Siobhan’s laughter echoes through the phone. “Well, it sounds like quite the party. Maggie, I’m so proud of you. Knock ’em dead with your movie…Well, maybe that was a poor choice of words. Anyway, I’ll be watching as soon as I can get my hands on it.”

“Thanks, Siobhan,” Maggie says warmly. “Enjoy your Mediterranean Christmas!”

As I hang up, Otto chimes in again. “Give me some eggnog!”

“Not a chance, buddy,” I say, wagging a reproachful finger at him.

“He’s going to get chatty the whole movie,” Maggie says. “We should take him to his downstairs playpen.”

“I’ll take him,” Owen offers, holding out his arm. Otto flutters to Owen and squawks all the way down the stairs.

Otto’s taken a shine to Owen and Emily ever since they bird-sat for us when I treated Maggie to a real honeymoon a couple years ago. She came back pregnant, so I’d say it was a success.

Note to self: Take Maggie on a honeymoon once a year.

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